8.31.2009

Breaking Spurs Sports News: Booze Ban at Tottenham



I just can't get enough of these. +1 for filling the bar with eastend cabbies named "Tony".

Video: Press Pass on Americans Abroad



Janusz with the run down Jozy, Charlie "Chuck D." Davies, Carlos Blackmouth and a few of the other Americans that have been outsourced to Europe. How come they never include any of the guys playing in Mexico in these things? Jose Torres, I see you baby.

Video: Landon Donovan In Conversation With "My Type"



Anyone know anything about Jackie Pickering? I need a new favorite sports-hottie.

8.28.2009

RBNY Rookie Cribs Part 2



Back to the house that Hall built, erm, rents.

Shalrie Joseph: Drink Him In

Shalrie

The world's number one soccer-playin' Grenadian-American got himself a sponsorship deal with Owater, an enhanced bottled water that will make your hair dread and your defensive game tight. Owater don't actually claim it will do those things but if Shalrie is on the bottle I just assume that's what will happen. The downside though is that if you drink it you will never, ever get transferred to Celtic.

8.27.2009

Extra Time: Episode 27 Act 3



Is it just me or does anyone else suspect that Jason The Producer is secretly that one smooth guy from Color Me Bad who wore the blue suits? I mean we hadn't seen him in quite a while so who knows what he's doing now. It's not out of the realm of possibility.

Video: Nike New Theo Walcott Advert



You know what would be great? If Adidas would hire Nike to do their ads in the states. Sure, it will never happen but I can dream of child-free soccer adverts in America can't I?

Video: An Oldham-MIllwall Story



I've just spent 17 minutes watching this epic video from start to finish. There is just soooo much more that I could say about it but I'm still trying to process it all. But the basic set up is a second-year med student and former Laker Girl from Beverly Hills (who intriguingly possesses the ability to unwrap Starbursts with her mouth) decides to go to an Oldham Athletic-Millwall match with her homegirl after allegedly losing $36 million. We never get the story on how they ever obtained or lost the money but I'm sure there is questionable Guy Ritchie film starring Lyndsay Lohan and Mila Kunis in there somewhere.

Now it's not the greatest piece of video you'll ever see. In fact it takes a minute to get going and it's downright ropey at points but that just adds to what's amazing about it; that two totally random, young, attractive American women are just like "f*ck Vegas, let's go to The Den for the weekend".

When I was in college the only women I knew other than my girlfriend (I was VERY lucky) that could stomach watching 90 minutes were exchange students; not even the girls I knew who played on the school's soccer team would go to watch a game with me 45 minutes away in Dallas. God, how things have changed.

NSR: Felix Da Housecat x Diddy Mixtape



I remember reading all the way back in 2004 that Diddy was doing an electro album with Felix Da Housecat and thinking "This is the end of electro, full stop". But Diddy (thankfully) quit going to Ibiza and it never came out but Felix's brand of Prince-punks-Kraftwerk dance music (thankfully) went back underground.

The thing with electro though is that it's the Converse Chuck Taylor of dance music; you think it's over but every 5 years it comes back into fashion. So now with Silver Screen Shower Scene and Harlot seated in the back of the record crate like Rosa Parks they finally get around to releasing something and it is 1 hour of filthy, robotic arpeggios and suggestive mutterings. File under: "Saturday Night 3am Driving Music".

Download "Lectro Black: Last Train To Paris Mixtape" for free at RCRDLBL.

8.26.2009

Extra Time: Episode 27 Act 2



Jason the Producer is not feeling D.C.'s Greg Janicki at all. It's as if he thinks he Taylor Graham or something (sorry Seattle but he's my go-to bad defenderer, nothing personal).

Kickin' It With Big Al Hopkins



Allen runs down the Rookie of the Year candidates; the smart money is on Pontius or Zakuani.

NSR: Raekwon feat. RZA, Ghostface Killah, Method Man & Inspectah Deck “House of Flying Daggers”










2/3rd of the Wu Tang Clan rides again --over a track produced by the late-great J Dilla no less- on one of the best posse cuts I've heard in a minute. Be warned though, the video make take a strong stomach and is very NSFW.

Video: Fan Video of Clint Dempsey's Goal Vs. Some Russian Team or Other



Talk about being in the right place at the right time. Some lucky sod had front row seats for Deuce's goal against Amkar Perm in the Europa League last week and got some up close and personal footage of the goal and the celebration. Some damn close seats in England, aren't they?

Soccer: An American Product (It's a Documentary)



If you have 12 minutes to spare to hear a bunch of stuff that you probably already know if you read this blog and other sites in the U.S. soccersphere (but with a few really New Yorky accents thrown in) watch this documentary. You might also want to watch it if you are employed by MLS, RBNY or the U.S. Department of Immigration.

8.25.2009

Photo of the Day: Juan Pablo Angel and HIs Golfing Buddy

Colombians

Fellas, which accessory most makes you look like someone who would list "clubbing" as a hobby on a dating website: Juan Pablo Angel's man-purse or golfer Camilo Villegas' Red Bull belt buckle? And for the ladies and homosexualists, who's profile would you respond to: JPA or a dude who still rocks white belts like it's 2003?

Extra Time: Episode 27 Act 1



The E.T. 3 dissect the burning wreckage of the 2009 RBNY season and then get into a bit of playoff talk...of which there will be precious little of in the RBNY locker room.

MLS Final Kick Week 23



Sorry for the lack of posts today; it's the wife's birthday this week and it's always kind of a big deal. Don't be surprised if it get's a bit sparse around here over the next few days due to multiple bouts of shopping trips, celebrity drinks and my own DJ gigs.

8.24.2009

FIFA10 Demo Dropping Soon



How soon? September 17th-soon. And just to sweeten the deal this year's demo will feature an MLS side, Chicago Fire, along side Chelsea, Barcelona, Juventus, Bayern Munich, and Marseille.

Video: Kenny Cooper Scores Against Some Team Called Karlsruhe



Frankencooper's doing it big isn't he? Or as big as you can in the German second division.

Video: Mehlman Meets Landon Donovan



Finally! It's soccer's turn to make an appearance on Narrow World of Sports and as you'd expect, Landon Donovan was the go-to guy. A very awkward interview to say the least but I applaud the effort of Seinfeld writer/producer Peter Mehlman to try and get loose with a game he doesn't really know. But I think Landon's sly-dry humor coupled with Mehlman's Upper East Side-dry humor is just too much; if ever a conversation yearned for an alcoholic lubricant it was this one.

Video: It's Called Football



With special guest Vancouver Whitecaps honcho Bob Lenarduzzi.

NSR: Radiohead "These Are My Own Twisted Words (Live)"



Why are they so damn good?! Why?!

Portland Timbers: How Can You Not Appreciate That Sh*t?



Nearly 35 years of history, a 23 match unbeaten streak and 13K in the stands on Saturday night; basically Portland are the anti-Red Bull (even though RBNY did manage a surprise win yesterday despite Mac Kandji and Dane Richards best efforts to thwart it at the end by being unintelligent glory-seekers and not taking the ball to the corner). If anyone in Rose City would like to tell me what success on the field and in the stands at the same time feels like don't hesitate share because it's a sensation I have never experienced. I'm told it's the sporting equivalent of being cupped and stroked at the same time.

This Week's Look at Americans Outsourced To Europe With Press Pass



Janusz and one of those guys with a British accent talk Jozy's debut, Charlie Davies and Gooch's place in the defensive pecking order at AC Milan. Watch it with someone you love...like Jack Daniels.

8.23.2009

A Kaka Video That HAD to be Made By Someone Who Edited The Trailer for The Da Vinci Code



Not that I have a particular affinity for Real Madrid or Kaka --although he is without a doubt the best chaste footballer from Brazil currently playing in Europe-- but I do appreciate the dramatic music and editing of this video. That and it's always a treat to see Ben Olsen get thrown to the ground in HD.

A Few Words From The TOR Dept. of Late Night Disappointment Posts

Eurosnob

Without passion,
you’re a fashion
How long can you fake it?

A few choice lyrics from "Lien On Your Dreams" by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club which I would like to dedicate to any Euro-centric soccer fans out there in America who tonight feel the need to start an "English-style" supporters club for their local side. I'm not hating on anyone but why there is something wrong with having our own style I will never know; whatever happened to American originality? Perhaps it's all down to that word, "style", and some people's fandom being more about that than substance.

Xango: Closet RSL Fans



OK so there not really closeted since they are on the front of the jersey but you know what I mean.

Video: On The Beer Bus With Section 8



It's not just any bus...it's the Ricky Raccoon Trans bus!

8.21.2009

NSR: HBO's The Pacific



I loved Band of Brothers more than cheesesteak (with wiz) and now I think I may love The Pacific more than cheesesteak (with wiz) and a few not-so-distant relatives. Seriously, HBO's original programming is just so good I honestly don't know why CBS and FOX even bother to exist.

Raw Talk with Houston GM, SF On the Signing of Landin



I know there is much more salacious and highly-anticipated news out there in MLSland to talk about today but I like to avoid the obvious if at all possible. So let's talk about the Luis Angel Landin signing. Just for a minute. Then I'm going back to chopping out this pineapple I bought at the farmer's market (I'm hooked on pineapples at the moment; it works well with alcohol and grilled meats so it's basically the perfect summer food.)

I'm not a Dynamo fan but this is one of the dopest things to happen to the league in a minute on the player side of things. For me, the signing of a young, capped, foreign forward as a DP instead of another Marcelo Gallardo or Denilson is worthy of nothing short of a celebration in the streets and a blood sacrifice to the deity of your choice. Coupled with the recent decision to make an honest woman out of Colombia's most potent export that is not coffee or cocaine -- who incidentally is also a young, capped foreign forward -- and we're making serious progress toward making the image of the league's premier players look less and less like a casting call for another Cocoon sequel.

I know these are only two signings but hopefully in the coming transfer windows it becomes a more common occurrence because only when Major League Soccer can woo the young, in-demand talent away from other leagues with regularity can we truly say we've arrived. But that's just me...and I've got issues.

So how about we see what Oliver Luck have to say about Landin? I'm sure he's got a better handle on this than I do. He also looks better in a suit than I do; too much alcohol and grilled meats.

Must-Have IPhone App: KickSwerve



This is exactly what I need: an even better way to kill microboredom than iDrummer.

8.20.2009

Video: Shalrie Joseph Is a Proud American



Americans, please welcome Revolution O.G. Shalrie Jospeh into the brotherhood of Yankeedom. Only bunk thing is that we can't cap his ass (and by that I mean have him play for the national team, not put a bullet in him).

Viva Futbol #36



More of that hot sh*t from the one like Alarazboy. Someone needs to hire him to do their highlight reels; just imagine what he could do with a bit of the spare HD footage from the EPL games laying around ESPN2 HQ?

Video: RBNY Rookie Cribs



It really is just like college living except you don't have to go to class and you make more than $13k a year (at least these two do).

5 Burning Questions



Omar Cummings for MVP? Interesting. But if he's got a shot at it then his running buddy Conor Casey has got to be considered as well; maybe they can both get it because I don't think one looks as good without the other.

And Now An Important Message From The RSL Dept. of International Friendlies



RSL gets The Goats on October 7th; plan accordingly.

MLS Player Not Named Beckham In the Tabloid Press For Once



If a player not named David Beckham is on Hollywood Scoop, but half the questions are about David Beckham, is it a victory for soccer's acceptance into America's pop-cultural lexicon? It could go either way really. Still, it's nice to see Freddie Ljungberg get a bit of love from tabloid TV...the man is an underwear model as well as a professional ball-player for God's sake.

8.19.2009

Extra Time Episode 26, Act 2



Jason The Producer may know his MLS but he does not know his funky soul classics. That's alright though, we can help him --and anyone else who doesn't know The Meters-- with that. The jumpoff for getting familiar with them has to be the classic "Cissy Strut". If you can't get loose with this you can't get loose with anything.

Video: RBNY Cribs Teaser



Cribs was canceled ages ago but that won't stop it from coming to North Jersey. Behold the teaser for RBNY greenhorns Nick Zimmerman and Jeremy Hall's upcoming episode courtesy of Red Bulls Reader. I like these things where you get to see a bit of what these guys' lives are like off the field; it's nice to see that they are just dudes that you might want to play COD with.

NSR: Editors "Papillon"



Looks like Editors have swapped the dark, angular guitar game for the dark, robotic, Euro-disco game. This is "Papillion", one of the newies that they've been dropping on this summer's festival circuit and on the English leg of R.E.M.'s stadium tour. It's definitely got me open to check out the new Flood-produced record in October...but it's no "Fingers in the Factories".

This Week in Soccer Conspiracy Theories

Conspiracy

A list of the most paranoid and possibly cuckoo things I have heard or read this week that have me wondering how long it will be until Scully & Mulder are arrested by security in the tunnel at HDC:


Introducing Jesus Padilla



Chivas USA unveiled their new signing, forward Jesus Padilla who has come to SoCal from the Mexican mothership. Sounds good but a look at his numbers in Guadalajara show that he's only got one goal in 24 appearances; is that really the kind of performance that's worthy of a press conference? As Shep Messing pointed out on Extra Time this week, RBNY's Danny Cepero has as many goals and he's a keeper.


Extra Time Episode 26, Act 1



On Mexican accents, CONCACAF Champions League, and Chivas USA's questionable new signing.

8.18.2009

MLS Final Kick: Week 22



"Chivas found that the best tonic for a losing streak is to get New York on the schedule".

Video: Red Bull Arena Tour on NBC4



This was on NYC's NBC affiliate during today's morning show. I'm sure a more legitimate video of this piece will surface later in the day but until then you'll have to be content to watch it in TOR's patented GhettoVision™.

Daft Punk: Tron Legacy Theme



It doesn't get anymore electro-dork than geeking out over Daft Punk's beefy theme to the upcoming Tron sequel. I don't know if I'm more excited about the film or the soundtrack. I guess it doesn't matter since I'll cop both of them on release day and probably spend more time obsessing about both of them than a healthy marriage will allow.

I'm sure that sounds messed up but you've got to understand that it is Tron and Daft Punk at the same time.

8.17.2009

This Week in Hitler Rants: Red Bull New York



Last week it was Beckham, this week it's RBNY...no one is safe.

Just Like Wu-Tang, MLS Is For the Children



If you have children in your life that you would like start down the long, dark, beer-soaked & sun-stroked road to MLS superfandom, send them this link. With any luck it'll make them never want to watch Drake & Josh again.

Bill Simmons Is Now Officially One of Us

Simmons

We got one. Finally. It's not Jim Rome but that's never going to happen so why even entertain the thought (and really when you think about it would we every really want him?). ESPN's Bill Simmons is a fantastic writer/sports nut and even though he has written about European and World Cup soccer before, by his own admission has been a soccer hater from time-to-time. But a funny thing happened on the way back from Mexico City; he caught the fever and we're not talking H1N1.

Today's Page 2 piece is a Bill's Eye View of the Azteca and it's the damn near perfect. For me the best thing about getting one of the most influential voices in mainstream sportswriting to "get it" is that he can write about the game and the experiences surrounding it in a way that the average Jets/Mets/Islanders fan can digest it as easily as chicken wings with a plastic cup full of beer on the side. Who can't appreciate a line like: "Michael Vick could crash a PETA rally and get a friendlier reception than the Americans did at Azteca"?

Now if we can just get him to select an MLS side to follow instead of a Premiership club, then we might be heading into true breakthrough territory.

Radio Free Danny O'Rourke



Some video of the Crew's Danny O'Rourke doing the morning drive on Columbus' CD 101 last week. Should we be shocked that the soccer player is the only one in this video without "a face for radio"?*

*Perhaps I shouldn't say that since I had a brief history as a college radio DJ.

Video: Copa NYC 2009



Reason number #54 that New York City is the greatest city in the world: the world is in New York City.

8.16.2009

Press Pass Talks Americans Outsourced To Europe



Looks like Janusz and the boys are looking to cut in on some Yanks Abroad's action. This week it's a spot of compare and contrast with Charlie Davies and Timmy "I had the worst season-opener ever" Howard.

8.15.2009

Video: Euro-Raving With Charlie Davies



Q: Why doesn't Charlie Davies do this dance after he scores (like the two he put past Bordeaux today)?

A: Probably because he knows it sucks compared to "The Carlton".

8.14.2009

Remember, There Are Children Present



Inappropriate football banter location #42: school plays.

NSR: Glasvegas "Daddy's Gone (Live)"



We haven't dome any Glasvegas in a bit have we? Here we find the Scottish foursome performing what could be described as a pop-song-cum-terrace-anthem. Play on.

8.13.2009

Extra Time Episode 25, Act 3



Featuring Greg Lalas reporting live via satellite from Mexico.

Video: RevsTV Bloopers



New England: Bob Saget's favorite soccer team.

NSR: The Big Pink's "Dominoes"



"The girls fall like dominoes, dominoes"....a late summer anthem for JAMC-lovers with a bit of player inside him.

Now THAT Is What I Call a Police Escort



This is what separated U.S. fans from Mexican fans in the Azteca parking lot. With this kind of police protection you would have thought Obama, the Pope, and the Dali Lama were all in the house.

Gossip: Fredy Montero Loan Buyout Rumor

Fredy

Now this is interesting. In one of the most epic games of "telephone" this blog is likely to see, Jose Romero's Sounders FC Blog is reporting that Colombian site Enlajugada is saying that Fredy Montero is no longer on loan and is now MLS property and TOR is now passing the savings on to you. If true --if-- it's a bold and badass move for the league to lock up some young foreign talent before the Europeans come sniffing around again (and believe me they will). The $10million dollar question is "what sort of transfer fee did they pay?"; there's no way Deportivo Cali is letting a guy like that walk for free (but then again if I am Deportivo Cali why would I have loaned him out in the first place?)

Video: We WIn Trophies Commercial



D.C. fan or not, you have to love that someone in this league is throwing their swag around and actually making an effort to get people to a U.S. Open Cup game.

8.12.2009

Extra Time Episode 25, Act 2



Shep and NKOTB Jason talking about Bruce Arena and the rise of the LA Galaxy. Crazy how they kinda look like a contender right now. Yesterday, I was speaking with a friend of mine who supports LA and is old enough to remeber the NASL and pointed out that if Beckham & LA were to somehow win the league this season it would mirror Pele not winning anything with the Cosmos until his third season in NY. There's not much to that but it would be an interesting coincidence.

I Guess It's a Slow News Day in Rochester, NY



Some of the citizenry, including local bar owner Joe Pizzo, are not impressed with the Rochester Rhinos and their stadium. As for me, I am not impressed the city's faux-Kent Brockman news anchor.

Sports Nation Has Questions, Lando Has Answers



In which our Landon discusses with America a few intricacies of our obsession.

Hey Portland, Fadi Afash Wants Your Forgiveness



Will you give it to him? Or are you all just like "naw, f*ck that dude"?

Video: ESPN Previews US-Mexico



As you read this I am nowhere near a computer and most likely floating somewhere along the lazy river; the missus and I are having an adult day at the local water park as it seems like a good way to keep me from going mental with anticipation for today's events. So while I am loafing, Alexi Lalas and the ESPN crew are in Mexico City doing pre-game coverage for a match they aren't even airing. How crazy is that? Things certainly have changed haven't they?

Video: Eddie Pope on Playing in the Azteca



I'm taking the day off but there will be a few things popping up here over the course of the morning/early afternoon leading up to the match. First up is the Azteca according to Eddie "No Smiles" Pope.

Video: Jozy Live from the Pre-Match Media Scrum



Remember how everyone used to constantly question Freddy Adu's age? How come no one has questioned Jozy's? Clearly the man is 32 years old; there isn't a 19 year-old on the planet who possesses the poise that this guy has.

8.11.2009

Video: Sunil Gulati (Now With Subtitles!)



Just check out the look on Sunil's face for the first ten seconds of this video. I've seen it before and it's the exact same look that you get right before you get clocked in the nose for being annoying.

Press Pass on the Azteca Jinx, SF on a Ramble



Shaka says the Azteca is not that difficult. Janusz says it is. Mind you neither of them ever won a match there as players but hey, most people who aren't Mexican don't. Do you think we'll break the jinx this year? I hope so because if we can't do it now --Gold Cup final aside, Mexico are reeling and the Yanks are stuntin'--we may never do it.

Yet deep inside there is some sick, self-hating part of me that wants it to continue just to have something to complain about. I have a couple of friends who are Boston Red Sox fans that swear that now that the Curse of the Bambino has been lifted it's just not as fun anymore. And Lord knows reveling a sense of collective damnation is certainly part of the appeal of supporting the New York MLS franchise.

To some degree I think every culture needs a boogieman and for American Soccer that boogieman is a 107K capacity pit brimming with smog, projectiles and the unpleasant scent of repeated failure. Now don't get me wrong here, I want us to win and win big. Coupled with the Spain win, this would be an epic one-two punch that the American game needs. But we still need a reliable, comfortable enemy to keep pushing us on.

Take the 1980's for instance. Remember how tight that sh*t was? It was all hair-metal, happy-rap and new-wave goodness. You know why? Because if we didn't we were just as bad as communist Russia so we had to show the world that we knew how party. Then the wall comes down, the U.S.S.R. breaks up quicker than Velvet Revolver and we no longer have a great, evil enemy or an epic quest ahead of us. Next thing you know it's the 1990's and everyone is listening to 12" mixes of Ace of Base records...just like the Russians.

Wait, where was I going with all this? F*ck. Wait, no. I dunno. The point is good needs evil and Azteca is evil at 7,300 feet. If we win it will come at a cost, and that cost would be creating an imbalance in the force.


Team USA Runs on Howard Power!



A homework assignment for any of you who are graphic design-inclined. I would really love some sort of "Powered by Howard" logo. I think it would totally rule the world on a scarf, t-shirt or rear window of large pickup truck next to a silhouette of Calvin peeing on a miniature Azteca while wearing a Landon Donovan jersey. Any takers?

Extra Time Episode 25, Act 1



Now with a new logo and ill-advised funk-metal theme song!

Video: Press Pass on Altidore's Hull Move



I think this is the first time ever in the history of soccer where every single pundit has the exact same opinion: it doesn't matter if it is Hull City, Jozy just needs to be playing.

Video: The Don on the Summer of Soccer



The Don has been hanging around the likes of Forbes, Fox Business News, Sports Business Journal and Wall Street Journal a lot lately. Dude is gonna get the league eyed up by more rich guys than a thin, gin-soaked blonde with fake t*ts and a penchant for gold-digging at a Jimmy Buffett concert.

MLS Final Kick: Week 21



What's more impressive: Jeff Cunningham's 6 goals in the last 3 games or Conor Casey's second hat-trick of the season?

8.10.2009

Everyone Hates America, Even EA Sports



We're less than 72 hours away from the U.S.-Mexico match at The Azteca and this is what EA decides to upload on Youtube?! A new clip from the as-yet unreleased FIFA10 with a verde-clad Blanco dropping his signature move and then scoring on our Timmy?! Ouch.

Either they've made a choice as to who they're siding with on Wednesday or they possess a significant lack of knowledge/sensitivity when it comes to soccer culture; how do you think the English market would react to a similar promo that featured Michael Ballack finishing off England just before they met in a crucial Euro qualifier? I'm sure it would go over about as well as an EMF stadium tour.

It's late and I have had an awful day so I acknowledge that I may be over-reacting. Still, I think I may have to start playing ProEvo instead in protest.

The Deep Read on Kyle Martino

Martino

From the Connecticut Post comes the longest article I think I have ever seen on Kyle Martino. Honestly, I don't think the dude got this much ink when he was playing. Or when he was on The Price is Right. I guess it's like they say and that you are never appreciated until they are gone. Or you are on ESPN.

Video: Kenny Cooper Scores in German Debut



Now that is how you make a first impression. Go on our kid.

Best Buy Giving Away Free Installation, Pick-Up Game With New TV Purchases



These people don't look a bit surprised to see the likes of Blanco, Schelotto, and Chris Klein rolling into there house with the TV delivery man. What they really needed here was a big, over-sized check. That would have really sold it and made it all believable Those things always make people freak out when they answer the door. Aging midfielders and defenders, not so much.

Sacha on Video Games, Soccer's Popularity and the LA Clippers



It's bad enough that Sacha plays for Chivas USA. Now we find out that dude is a Clippers fan as well?! Jesus. It's like he wants to be second fiddle, like he's the LA sports equivalent of Turtle from Entourage or something. Shit, I bet if we checked his car stereo we'd discover that he actually prefers Warren G to Snoop Dogg. Only in LA.

8.09.2009

8.08.2009

Some People Do Not Like Landon Donovan. Still.



Even though Lando's stateside popularity may be at all-time high, it's good to know that we can still count on our neighbors to the south to spit cobra-esque amounts of venom at The Balding Boy Wonder™; it keeps it interesting, no?

8.07.2009

Video: Stuart Holden Meets The Shin Guardian



The Shin Guardian: surely the least-popular superhero since The Toe Jam Avenger.

Video: Azteca-bound U.S. Squad Named



And the winners are...

Young Yank Abroad Alleged to Come to MLS

Vinnie

Can you imagine how not-hopeless RBNY would be if only they were allowed to sign all these kids from Jersey? They would A) have talented youth for days and B) corner the market on players whose name ends in vowel. Add alleged Napoli-deserter and U.S. U-20 striker Vincenzo Bernardo to the list with Rossi, Szetela, Duka and all of the other NJ boys that with a real youth system would maybe make NY the Arsenal of MLS.

Bobby Convey: Remember When He Was Suppossed to Be Somebody?

convey

I used to be a big Bobby Convey fan and so did a lot of other people a few short years ago. Along with Cam Weaver, I thought he was going to be a big story in San Jose this year but this season has been something of a disappointment for me...and the San Jose Mercury News.

He still a youngish guy so he's got a bit of time turn it all around but maybe a change of scenery to somewhere that doesn't also have Darren Huckerby on the flank would help him out. Philadelphia, what say you? Would you like to bring the local boy home?

Chatting With Chivas USA: Ante Jazic



All you ever wanted to know about The Nova Scotian Nightmare™ but were afraid to ask.

8.06.2009

Video: Behind The Scenes of the All Star Game



All the stuff you didn't see at the 2009 MLS All Star game (and beautfully shot and edited if I might add).

Coming Up Trumps With the USMNT



ESPN's Wayne Dreys has spent the summer embedded with Bob Bradley's boys and has come back with what for my money is one of the most forward-thinking chronicles of American soccer in a minute. Packaging both the written word and an excellent multi-media gallery into an attractive, detailed chronology, it's an intimate peek into all of this summer's card-sharkin' and ass-kickin' by the U.S. MNT from Miami to Mexico City (though conspicuously absent is the ill-fated Gold Cup run).

Seriously, I never want to read another boring tournament post-mortem again; the bar has been raised and this is what I want. Bristol if you can hear me, please don't stop.

NSR: Alive in Joburg



I'm sure that by now you've seen the trailer or some of the outstanding propoganda for the upcoming film District 9. But did you know it was based on a short film by Neill Blomkamp (director of the upcoming Halo film) called Alive in Joburg? If you're interested in seeing D-9 this is a must-watch that lays out the basic premise of the film.

Who Doesn't Love a Good Mystery?

United

Who doesn't love a good mystery? I don't know. Maybe Sherlock Holmes or Angela Lansbury maybe because they are just so burnt out on it; job fatigue you know? But someone is betting that it's different for the young, single, educated urban professionals and creative types the read Washington D.C.'s arts & entertainment weekly and are using stickers on it's covers to drive them to some boastful-ass website or other. I wonder who could it be?

Thanks to our man Trey for the heads up. Good looking out.

Video: Jozy's Hull Press Conference



See it and believe it. It may only be Hull but our kid is now officially an EPL striker (barring a work permit crisis). Anyone fancy adding one of these to thier kit collection?

H/T to SBI.

Uncle Lamar's Boy Going Global?

Clark

The Sun --I know, I know-- is linking FC Dallas & Columbus Crew boss "Cousin" Clark Hunt with a takeover of West Ham. We know that Stan Kroenke is all up in Arsenal but still has a way to go before he's full-on running things there. And of course Red Bull owns a much more successful operation in the Austrian league. But this would be (to my knowledge at least, politely correct me if I am wrong) the first time the owner of an MLS side held the majority of a club in a major foreign league. Keep watching this one, could be a bit of America soccer history in the making.

Argentine League Delayed Due to Brokeassed-ness

Argies

Now this is scary. The financials are so bad within the Argentine league that next week's scheduled kickoff has been delayed indefinitely. You know the recent AFL demise began with a suspension of one season and it doesn't look set to recover. I'm not saying it's going to happen but I'm just saying that there is an outside chance it could happen.

Something to think about next time you are writing a 300 word diatribe on the messageboard of your choice about how MLS should spend more money on everything from players to facilities to toilet paper; they propably should but now just may not be the best time.

Just a Thought

Twins

I have nothing else to say about the matter.

Taking Making Noise To The Next Level



This footage is from last week's friendly between Portland Timbers and the EPL's Burnley. I love tradition and the fact that the Timbers have some. I'm also all for making all manner of noise behind the goal to intimidate the visitors and push on your team. Honest.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut....how are you going to run a live chainsaw behind the opposition keeper during free kicks? PDX you know I love you but come on now. Don't you think that's just a bit much? If we're going that far Sao Paolo should start blasting Sepultura during PK's? Or perhaps someone should let Seattle fire up a Boeing jet engine behind the touch line?

It's kinda bush-league and I'd be real curious to see if the tradition stands in 2011. But at the same time you know what? This is America and we don't really have the best history of giving a rat's ass about what the rest of the world is doing so it's keep on choppin' I guess.

8.05.2009

Is Everyone Just Over Manhattan or What?

Grant

The Beckham Experiment media blitz rolls on and if you live in Brooklyn it's rolling your way tomorrow night. Author Grant "Watch how I ball" Wahl will be in D.U.M.B.O at the Varsity Letters event alongside ESPN writer Wright Thompson and New York Times writer Bruce Weber, author of As They See 'Em: A Fan's Travels in the Land of Umpires, at Gelf Magazine's free event at Jan Larsen Art Studios.

Gelf also did an interview with Grant recently, officially leaving F.E.D.S Magazine as the only publication in circulation that he did not have a sit down with.

Photo of the Day: Inside Red Bull Arena

RBNY

Andy Martin of Getty Images took this photo of Red Bull Areana earlier this week. I want to common-law marry it. That is all.

Video: Frankencooper's Munich Press Conference



Check out our dude holding his 1st European press conference. Good on him. And check out those German reporters all speaking better English than half the kids on my block. Impressive. But checkout 1860's finish in 2.Bundesliga for the past five seasons: 4th, 13th, 8th, 11th, 12th. So not impressive.

Jason Garey Loves Cabelas as Much as Columbus

garey

Before you start typing a half-thought out, rager of a comment because of the photo please read this article. I ain't calling anybody names, I'm just quoting our man Jason Garey. As he tells it to the Columbus Dispatch he's something of a ruralist who's down with fishing, firearms and Eddie Gaven yet he's still too chicken to touch a 9-foot hammerhead shark. Now I can totally relate to that last part and I am something of an Eddie Gaven fan so I guess that makes be a half-redneck.

So you see I ain't hatin' on one of U. Of Maryland's finest. My only beef with Jason Garey is that he hails from a town that claims to be the "Jambalaya Capital of the World"; I respectfully call bullsh*t on that because in all actuality that title belongs to my grandmother's kitchen which is located in Carencro, LA.

You know what? F*ck it! We should have a PK shootout for the title...Jason, where you at?

8.04.2009

Video: Dat Dude Dichio



It's about a month old but for those of us south of the 49th parallel it's brand spanking new.

Video: Kenny Cooper Let's You Down Easy



Listen closely to Dave van den Bergh's testimonial; Dutch Boy has developed the quickest Texas accent in history.

Video: MLS Final Kick Week 20



MLS week 20 a.k.a the week of high-scoring (D.C. vs.Houston) and all-time lows (Kansas City, Seattle).

America, Show Your Love For Soccer



Oh wait. It looks like you already did. Nevermind.

8.03.2009

Jeff Agoos Hall of Fame Induction Video



There's no audio for whatever reason so feel free to add your own narration. If you are are a current Red Bulls fan, feel free to exercise some restraint.

FC Dallas Gets Biblical on My Ass, Gives TOR a Lesson In "Ask & Thou Shall Recieve"



On Friday I asked if there was a reason to watch FC Dallas with Frankencooper no longer on the books. On Saturday Jeff Cunningham answered. If only everyone responded so well to criticism.

8.02.2009

Video: Kings of the City Teaser



The story of 11-time New York City champions Martin Luther King Jr High School...coming soon to a Wi-Fi connection near you.

The Firm: Coming Soon to a Hoolie-Film Cinema Near You



Awaydays is out now (in Europe at least) and The Firm is coming. So can we all just agree to collectively forget Green Street Hooligans now? I would also appreciate it if we could all start wearing old-school Fila tracksuits at all times...so fly.

Video: Beckham Vs. Barcelona



It took less than 30 minutes for Beckham's banger against Barça it to make it to the interwebs. This was scored in the 44th minute and as I type this we're less than 5 minutes into the second half. As unsavory as some of his traits may be, dude can get it done on the field (scoring dead balls) and off the field (scoring attention) like no other.

Video: Ian Brown on Manchester Football



Long live "King Monkey".

8.01.2009

Sportscenter: They'll Let Anybody In The Studio These Days



I'm impressed by two things in this clip. First and foremost it has to be said that for all his faults, ol' Goldenballs is easily the best dressed dude to ever appear on Sportscenter; have you seen some of the things Michael Irvin has worn on there? Good God!

The other thing I like is that the first question asked was about his back and whether he'll be able to go against Barcelona. As basic as that seems I feel that U.S. reporters are often so busy talking about the off-field drama with him that they forget to ask about issues pertinent to the athletic and sporting aspects of Brand Beckham.

Do you know that at his press conference ahead of the RBNY match last month not a single reporter --not one of the regular soccer beat writers, not the mainstream sports guys, and certainly no one from Reuters, AP, CNN or any of the other big international media outlets that were in the room-- asked him about the sore ankle he was receiving treatment on the week leading up to the match? You know what the first 3 questions were about? The AC Milan transfer drama.

Futbol Mundial on Clint Dempsey, U.S. Soccer



The Deuce
The Deuce
The Deuce is on fire!

We don't need no water let the motherf*cker burn!