5.31.2009

I Hate To Bring Up Old Sh*t But...



How in the hell did I miss the fact that D.C. United's Fred was an underwear model down under? Can't believe I let this one slide past me for the past 3 years. I'm truly slippin' y'all.

I could have done soooo much with this one. So could the ladies and homosexualists for that matter but I'm not going to go there. But seriously, between Becks, Freddie Ljungberg and Fred I'm certain MLS employs the most underwear models per capita than any soccer league on the planet.

Video: Steve Nash is "The Player", Returning To Chinatown



It is on. Again. And from the looks of it "Nasty" Steve Nash is bringing the international heat down to Chinatown. Start staking out your spot on the fence now people.

[via someone called Lissette via DT via UF]

5.29.2009

5 Burning Questions: E-Mail Edition



Harksey and JP answer questions from the email bag about Champions League, San Jose, Shalrie Joseph, Confederations Cup and more.

5.28.2009

MLSnet Top 4: 5.28.09



His Ginger Majesty, Chivas USA, Extra Time and the Galaxy.

Video: RBNY's Projection Project



A lot of people ragged on RBNY for their "Running of the Bulls" campaign a few months ago and while some of the criticism was justified a good portion of it was just over the top. At about the same time they did this series of over sized projections throughout high-traffic areas in Manhattan that (from what I saw) was much better executed...which is probably why there wasn't nearly as much to said about it.

Extra Time Episode 16: Act 3



Thursday night hype from Shep, Greg and "Jason".

5.27.2009

Video: USMNT Champions League Predictions



What's with all of the Man U love? People are acting like Messi is Mike Magee and Henry is Alan Gordon.

Video: Sounders v. Rapids Open Cup Recap



Q: Who doesn't like a "local boy done good story"?

A: Colorado Rapids

Extra Time Episode 16: Act 1



Ring the alarm, Greg, Shep & his mustache and the mysterious Jason are talkin' Fire.

5.26.2009

Video: Mo Edu on Sir Walter Smith, Barry Ferguson



Mo Edu testifies to the competence of his manager and teammate. I wish I could be more complementary but as a Celtic fan that's about as much credit as I am prepared to give.

NSR: Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2



Oh hell yes!

Video: The Carding of Vancouver



I like this. It's kind of in the same vein as the scarfing in Seattle but geared more toward the "discovery" phase of the team as opposed to the "investment" phase. Even if people don't know what they mean, they know what cards are; definitely a good way to stand out from the other yahoos out there flinging flyers.

MLS Final Kick: Week 10





(To the tune of Tesla's 1990 hit "Signs")

Ties, Ties
Everywhere there's ties
Blocking up the victories
Breaking up my mind
Score this, equalize that
Can't believe the ties

5.25.2009

Video: Jozy vs. Lebron



Lebron James is the Jozy Altidore of basketball (that actually gets to play). Discuss.

Video: ESPN's Sunday Conversation



7:46 in the life abroad of Tim Howard. Now remember kids, "ESPN hates soccer".

5.22.2009

Gerry Dee X TFC Player Interviews



More Canuckistani comedy.

Video: Gerry Dee X TFC X Mo Johnston's Birthday



This guy really is pretty funny. Not sure if I'd make the trip up to Mississauga to see him at Yuk Yuk's or anything but he'd make a fine host for a regular MLS segment; I'd actually pay to see him and Jimmy Conrad trade jabs.

Video: FC Dallas Dancers Photo Shoot



I may be wrong about this but when I was in high school in Denison, TX it was widely believed that there where no ugly girls in Plano, Tx. The second girl in this clip --"Ascid" is her name as best as I can tell-- proves that this may actually be a fact; I would drink her bath water.

Video: Studio 90 News



Kid stuff (and wildlife) on the pitch in Florida.

5.21.2009

Video: Rohann and Johann Rock It Out at NXNE



Over 500 bands hit Toronto for North By North East but only one duo of footie-journos is prepared to tackle it.

NSR: Phoenix "1901 (Build mix)"



This is all I am listening to today; a perfect summery, Balearic, dance-rock pileup not seen since Screamadelica-era Primal Scream. Love. It.

Extra Time Episode Episode 15 Act 3



Greg and Shep preview this week's matches and pray for a win...for anyone.

Video: Tim Howard Sunday Conversation Preview



Some people spend Sunday at their Nana's house. Some people spend it screaming at their team on the TV. Some people --ESPN for instance-- spend it Merseyside tracking Timbo Howard down to talk to him about Everton, Tourettes and all manner of other stuff.

In Pictures: RBNY vs. US Navy on the Flight Deck of the USS Intrepid

bridge

Here's a few photos I snapped at RBNY's event this afternoon at the Intrepid Air, Sea & Space Museum. It was hot (90 degrees) but fun to watch the guys mess around in short-sided games versus the Navy team from the USS Roosevelt; an unconventional venue was a very unique look for the team and a welcome break from the normal promo op. Besides, how often to you get to see soccer on a mother f*cking boat?

ThreeAmigos

I ran into these three while crossing the street to the ship. Had a good laugh with Rojas about whether this match will count against his suspension or not.

Navy

The Navy team. A little chunky at forward, but so is Clint Mathis (and he's a God).

Pacheco

Alfredo Pacheco talkin' to a MILF and her daughter...strictly in the name of fan interaction of course.

TheMac

Mac Kandji is at the forefront of this photo but what the hell is Andrew Boyens doing over to the right? Looks like he's either finding Jesus or involved in a game of invisible limbo.

Keepy

They manaaged to keep the ball in from going overboard...until the game started.

Conway

Jon Conway rolled up with his man-bag and shorts like he was heading to the beach.

hug

One of these teams has a much better defensive reputation than the other.

lights

Seth Stammler smiles for the cameras.

Action

I'll be honest and say that I left within 10 minutes of the match starting as I had to get back to work but what little actual play I saw was highly entertaining. Dudes were having fun, making fancy little flicks and sending only a few balls into the Hudson. The poor seaman in this photo had it a little rough though; he hit the metal goal so hard there was an audible "Oooooh" from the gallery that was probably heard across the water and into Jersey.

TIAS was there too and have much better pictures. You should check them out. Or Not.

NSR + NSFW = DM Live 2009



Depeche Mode: the only band on the planet willing/capable/worthy of bringing lesbian, foot-fetish soft porn to Europe's largest stadia. This was shot at the tour's warm up gig in Luxemburg 2 weeks ago. They kicked off their Tour of the Universe a week later in front of 50K at Israel's national soccer stadium in Tel Aviv and have had to cancel every date since due singer Dave Gahan's recent "illness".

If the tour makes it to your town (which at the current rate of cancellations may not happen) go check them out because with a band this old --and with a history of epic indulgence-- you never know if it is their last.

FC Dallas v. LA Galaxy: The Real Reason To Go

Boil

You know, I was kind of down on FC Dallas' "Drew Carey glasses night" promotion a last week; I just found it odd that the fashion foibles of the owner of the opposition was made the draw instead of Freddy Ljungberg or something. But hey, they've redeemed themselves though with their excellent Memorial Day promotion: a crawfish boil!

This is pretty much all you need to know:
  • $1 draft beers
  • $3 hurricanes
  • $8 crawfish buckets (includes sides)
It's enough to make this Creole kid all misty-eyed for the trail rides and zydeco shows behind grandma's church of my youth. Damn, I wish I was going to this. Seriously, this event may even top The F*cking Catalina Wine Mixer™.

Macfarlane Dumps Share in D.C. United to Partner

Victor

Damn y'all. Dude couldn't get what he really wanted --a real estate development, not a soccer team-- and has hit the road back to San Francisco. On one hand it could be a good thing to drop some dead weight if the remaining partners are really committed. But on the other hand...well, the other hand the stadium situation must be next to impossible for land shark like him to walk away.

Video: Red Bull Arena Time Lapse Part One



Over at RedBullReader.com, they've launched the first installment of a new video series which shows the Red Bull Arena under construction in a time-lapse video. Every two weeks they'll post another month's worth of construction footage. Today's tease goes back to the early days: September 2008. Enjoy.

Kickin' It With Al Hopkins: Rolfe, Wolff, & POTUS



Watch out for The Leprachaun at the end! He really needs to stop running up on people like this; one day he's going to mess around and give someone a heart attack.

5.20.2009

NSR: Passion Pit BBC Minimix




6 minutes of lefty, electronic bliss.

K.C. Losing Ground in the SSS Race

KCSJ

Who will actually get out of their tight & temporary stadium first: San Jose and it's incredible, shrinking stadium or Kansas City and it's funded but not REALLY funded stadium that looks like it going to get put off another year? Damn you recession, damn you.

Extra Time Episode Episode 15 Act 2



In which Shep, Greg and some guy call out the guys who can't finish.

NSR: Cold War Kids Redefine Music Video

CWK

You may have heard of Cold War Kids. You may not have heard of Cold War Kids. Regardless you have to see what they have done with the video for new single "I've Seen Enough". Just (shameless day job plug) go to MTV.com and start clicking around as you'll figure it out easier than I will ever explain it. This is on some whole other sh*t.

Timbers Army Responds To OregonLive Piece




For the sake of showing both sides to the story, I'd like to reprint in full the Timbers Army's response (courtesy of Finns Wake) to the OregonLive piece I linked to in an earlier post today. I'm certainly not taking sides on the issue, I just feel compelled to share both views on this.

Dear John Canzano,

I wanted to respond to your piece today on the Timbers Army. While I certainly think it is a topic that has been and will probably continue to be an issue at not only Timbers matches but sporting events of all types I feel that the letter from Andrew and Laurie painted a rather skewed picture of what the Timbers Army is all about and what actually goes on during matches.

Andrew and Laurie sure seems to know alot of "facts" about a group that they only witnessed from 75 meters away.

The truth is that the Timbers Army is a vibrant and unique part of the sporting culture in Portland and the United States and we will continue to provide the most vocal and visual support we can in order to support our beloved Portland Timbers.

Here are some actual facts about the Timbers Army:

Fact: There are 4 separate Timbers Army, North End related soccer teams and countless other members who play, ref and coach. But there is no requirement to be a soccer super star to stand with us. We only ask that you cheer and be passionate in your support.

Fact: The Timbers Army has given over $10,000 to charity in the past 5 years.

Fact: The Timbers Army is one of the most diverse groups that you will ever see gathered in one place in Portland, Oregon. Football/Soccer has a way of doing that. While there are certainly a few fat white men (I wasn't aware you had to pass a fitness test to be a fan) we also boast lots of skinny white men, women of all shapes and sizes, lots and lots of CHILDREN, Mexicans, Bolivians, Japanese, Polish, British, Germans, Irish, Scottish, Brazilians, Argentinians and Serbians. We have hipsters and Beaverton soccer moms. We have construction workers, lawyers, beer truck delivery guys, doctors, political consultants, dock workers, UPS drivers, accountants and an actual lumberjack.

Fact: We have nothing to do with Hooliganism or anything associated with Hooligan culture. That is a very loaded term that is used to prejudice people against any form of soccer team support and it is nonsense. There are no fights in the North End and irresponsible conduct of any manner is dealt with by alerting the proper authorities.

Fact: MLS specifically cited the Timbers Army as one of the prime reason they selected this city for a expansion franchise. In fact, MLS was at the very same game that Andrew and Laurie were at and came away incredibly impressed by the passion, size and organization of the Timbers Army.

Fact: The Timbers Army has actively, and will continue to, work with the Timbers Front office to curb offensive words from chants. It is an ongoing effort but it is important to point out that the language heard at NFL, NBA and Ducks foorball games can be worse than anything that comes from the North End of PGE on game night. While it is impossible to police language of an individual we will continue to work to provide the most inclusive experience possible.

Fact: While it certainly is going to take ticket holders of all sizes and shapes to make MLS in Portland a success (and unlike Andrew I certainly hope that the Timbers don't prevent fat people from buying tickets) the Timbers Army currently represent a significant portion of season and game day ticket purchases and that will only increase in MLS. There were about 8,000 fans in PGE Park on Thursday night. About 3,000 of them were standing shoulder to shoulder singing their hearts out for the team in the Timbers Army section. While Andrew and Laurie most certainly are entitled to their opinion, I think the opinion of 3,000 passionate fans count for a lot more; as well as the other 4,999 fans who seemed to enjoy the match as well. It is also important to point out there were about 12,000 other seats available for Andrew and Laurie and their family. I know for a fact that the team will accommodate requests for a seat change whenever possible.

Fact: Andrew and Laurie are welcome to come down to the middle of section 107 and actually meet the people they so quickly formed an opinion of and learn what this thing called the Timbers Army is all about.

Sincerely,
Jeremy Wright
Timbers Army

Extra Time Episode Episode 15 Act 1



Greg is back, Jason is gone and ties are in fashion.

Some People Do Not Like the Timber's Army

Parents

Someone wrote a letter to the Portland Timbers front office asking the Timber's Army "where's the line?" Now I don't bring this up as a condemnation of the TA nor do a I agree with many of the points in the letter. I only bring it up because for me personally it's an interesting issue that I will soon have to battle; how do I integrate my son into the real, passionate culture of the game without having to explain to my wife just exactly why our son would like to fly over D.C. tomorrow and defecate on the children of unwed mothers that may be found below (he's 2 and 1/2 and he'll repeat anything you say)?

Detractors will often (wrongly) point out that the game has no history in America and that most stateside teams lack any culture beyond their supporters group. Serious fans may know better than that but amongst ourselves we do acknowledge on occasion that for a real culture to evolve around our clubs the youth will have to get an education behind the goal as well as from the Saturday morning youth club. But no one really wants their kid singing about being up to their neck in (fill in the hated team of your choice) blood do they? That's an appointment with Child Protective Services just waiting to happen.

The whole debate reminds me of my Mom's record collection. My Mom always encouraged me to listen to and play music (as she so often did) but, she made damn sure to put her Funkadelic albums in a an out of the way place once I found them for fear of what the cover of The Electric Spanking of the War Babies would do to me. Maybe the answer for her was to let me know that there are these other things out there but I wasn't ready for all that as opposed to trying so hard to deny them that it made me want it more.

Who knows what the solution is for soccer though. Whatever it is will certainly take a minute to get here; a truce between the parents and the passionate won't come without a bit of time, tolerance and respect from both sides. And although I do believe that the notion of trying to rely on group sales to families and youth clubs hasn't been getting it done, we've still got a way to go before Crew Stadium has the same vibe as Buckeye Stadium. So in the interim let us be patient, let us be parents and let us be passionate.

Photo courtesy of Allison Andrews.

5.19.2009

MLS Final Kick: Week 9



So who do we have to lace to make this a regular segment on Sportscenter? Oh, if only Jack Warner had a job in Bristol instead of Manhattan.

Video: Bloomberg Interviews The Don



Dear American Non-Soccer Media-

Did you know that Major League Soccer was here before David Beckham? Are you aware that Major League Soccer will be here after David Beckham? Do you know that every time you conduct an interview with someone not named Beckham but spend 75% of your interview asking questions about him you only show your ignorance? I'd also like to point out that it is high time you begin looking into making a few new hairstyles available to anchor women; I think they would appreciate it if you let them brak out from the three looks that you currently offer them.

Sincerely
Some Guy

Just How Did They Make That Kaka Commercial?



With a pitch covered in diamonds. God. Damn. Dude has just taken ballin' outta control to a whole, new iced-out level that won't be topped until Ronaldihno does an advert where he's eating caviar out of a hollowed out, gold-plated California Condor egg on a recommissioned Concorde flight from Cannes to Monsterrat.

Video: Sony's New Kaka Advert




Sony's new series of adverts featuring Kaka make a ridiculous case for HDTV; it's all in the details.

5.18.2009

"I Am Not a Man. I Am Cantona"



Do I want to see a movie about a guy who's idol is Eric Cantona? No. But do I want to see a film where Eric Cantona gets all egotastic and mentors a guy who's idol is Eric Cantona? Yes.

5.17.2009

RBNY To Play U.S. Navy on Deck of USS Intrepid




If you've never seen it, I highly recomend you see the 1978 film The Boys in Company C. As where may have bigger names and a higher caliber of play but this is a much better film overall. Plus it has R. Lee Ermey's debut performance as a hard-assed drill sergent years before he made his iconic appearance in Full Metal Jacket.

Speaking of soccer-military tie-ups, on May 21st at 2 p.m., Sailors, Marines and Coast Guardsmen from U.S. Navy and U.S. Coast Guard ships will square off against the New York Red Bulls on the flight deck of the USS Intrepid in 6 v 6 matches. This is a real special event; what better way to celebrate Fleet Week than by playing against the U.S. Navy soccer team from the USS Roosevelt on the flight deck of an aircraft carrier?

I have to see this. If you can sneak out of work come join me. And Ray Ban aviators are a must.

There's Only One John Wolyniec



Chested down, dropped to the left foot, scored with the right foot. And you thought he was called The Staten Island Maradona for nothing.

5.15.2009

Video: Kickin' It With Allen Hopkins



You know, we hadn't kicked it with Allen Hopkins in a minute. Looks like dude has been hanging with Quavas Kirk or at least borrowing his suits. And what else has happened in that long minute? DC United is back on top, Chris Klein joins the 300 Club, and the Philadelphia starts organizing the Union.

5.14.2009

Live! Tonight! On FSC!



In some weird, nonsensical way Rochester Rhinos are the LA Galaxy of USL1. In the late 90's/early 2000's they were the "model franchise" that won championships and trophies (3 league titles and the US Open Cup between 1998-2001) and seemed destined to take their club to a higher level, that level being Major League Soccer. Except where LA's ticket to that next level (the hallowed realm of "Superclub") was a player, Rochester's was a stadium. But unfortunately things haven't really worked out as planned for either side because LA are now worse than they have ever been and Rochester came within a garbage plate of ceasing to exist last year so MLS might be a stretch.

So this Los Angeles Galaxy of Rochester is playing what I would say is my USL1 side of choice, the Portland Timbers, tonight on FSC at 11pm EST. I often can't make it through a USL match in it's entireity but since it is Portland there is garuanteed to at least be a bit of atmosphere and a few familiar names to keep me interested; the Rose City side boasts former MLSers Steve Cronin (LA), Alex Nimo (RSL), Ryan Pore (Kansas City), Keith Savage (Chivas USA) and 55 cap Japanese International Takayuki Suzuki.

Now if you are unmarried, in college or a drunk I would suggest you get your ass out to a bar tonight instead. But if you are a broke-assed 33 year old father of two who can't be bothered to go out on a Thursday if it's not for work, a match or to see a band this is must-see TV.

Is It Just Me or Does This Sound Like Linkin Park Doing E With The Pet Shop Boys?




Am I right? Right?!

Extra Time: "Where's Greg? Episode 2"



Shep and the mysterious Jason return with all things Western Conference.

5.13.2009

All Star Voting Begins Today!



Don't pay attention to the details at the end of the video, just take in the message. It's time to cast your ballot for the 2009 MLS All Star game so get it together and get your ballot ready. And the best thing about this vote is that even though you do have to register, if you are a felon you can still cast your ballot!

"The Old Horses" Victorious In RBNY Iron Chef Challenge

cooks

Check 'em out y'all. Juan Pietravallo may not win as many balls as I would like but he can win a chili cook-off. Well maybe not a chili cook-off, but he (along with teammates Jorge Rojas, Carlos Johnson and Alfredo Pacheco operated under the nom de cuisine Caballos Viejos) did lift some silverware in the 2nd annual RBNY iron Chef challenge.

At the other end of the spectrum was "Team Stanky Legs" consisting of forward Macoumba Kandji, Matthew Mbuta, Khano Smith and Nick Zimmerman. They put together some chicken in something called “Stanky Leg Sauce”. For their efforts, they were awarded a Fire Extinguisher. Now those are my boys but they should be glad that I was not a judge for they might have received worse for naming themselves and a meal after the worst song since Soulja Boy's "Crank That".

Extra Time: Greg Lalas-Less Edition



This week Greg Lalas is absent so Shep and his mustache are joined by special guest-host "Jason". Usually people that go by one name are so famous that a last name is superfluous. People like Pele, Ronaldinho and Eminem for instance. But if no one knows who the hell you are it's a ballsy move. Especially if your name is Jason and you don't wear a hockey mask and kill off the black kid first in every movie.

5.12.2009

Random MLS Hype Video



I'm posting this for no reason at all other than it is well edited and it makes me feel good. And we all want to feel good don't we? Isn't that why we do things like date beneath us or watch those rehab shows and say "Damn, his life sucks"? This video has the same effect but without having to worry about whether or not you're being an insensative prick.


Oh and speaking of insensative pricks, David Beckham features prominently in the clip. You'd think he could be blacklisted by now but despite some of our feelings of disappointment that we hold for him, he's still a draw...I wonder if this is what 50 Cent fans feel like post-Curtis?

K.C. FO, Here's a Freebie For You



Now this is a bit dated being that it was filmed during last year's play off run, but that's OK because the post-season is so integral to this (late night, sleep deprived) post. The subject is a Wizards newbie but obviously a veteran of the K.C. sports scene. And she's up for getting her first taste of MLS not because she's a footie fan but because unlike other Kansas City big-league teams, the Wizards know how to make the playoffs.

I know it's waaaaaaaaay early to think post-season but that's a campaign theme right there; "Kansas City Wizards: Making the Playoffs Because the Chiefs and Royals Can't". Maybe "Kansas City Wizards: Because Somebody Has Got to Make the Playoffs Around Here". Or perhaps something less demeaning to the city's other sports franchises...something quasi-innocuous like "Kansas City's Playoff Team".

Sure, it's late and I'm just talking crazy right now but when no other team in town has won a playoff game (if the fan in the video is to be believed) since Bill Clinton's rookie year at White House FC you've gotta take advantage of that. I'm telling you, if K.C. is still playing Halloween weekend this is the way to frame it. Soccer doesn't always sell, but success does.

Random Week 8 Musings (with the Help of ESPN)



I have to say that despite the poor showings from some members of the officiating corps, this was probably one of the best weeks so far of the 2009. Good crowds, a Sunday game that was actually packed for once, a MASSIVE win for RBNY, FINALLY a win for Columbus and the madness that was TFC v. D.C. United. If only every weekend was this good...

5.11.2009

Video: 5 Burning Questions



Question one is there solely to remind us all that TT is still in fact alive (at least he was at the time of posting). In the past two years there have been more chupacabra sightings than there have been sightings of him on the field. If he stays sidelined too much longer he will slip into urban legend territory; if you happen to know him, ask him if he's considered getting a hook for hand yet.

Video: 50 Yard Banger



He's no Danny Cepero, but hey, who is?

These Things Take Time



I've been on professional Daddy-duty since Wenesday but I think I'm going to try and ease back into the bloggeration. I'm sure I should be discussing the state of MLS officiating, big wins for RBNY and Columbus, expanded seating in Seattle or the Union of the Snake but like I said, I have to ease back into this. And besides everyone else is already talking about it so why add to the clutter.

So I'll just trhow up some random clip of some random chick moving to some random Europop with a soccer ball since the one thing on one complains about is the use of the "Flesh" tag.

5.08.2009

And Now A Message from the President of the United States



T.O.R. is still supposed to be on sabatical but when POTUS is talking soccer, you have to break from the normal programming plan. Regardless of your politics how can you not love it when your nation's top man is bucking for another stateside cup?

5.06.2009

The Time Has Come



Off to the hospital today with my missus. She's going to birth us another baby and I'm going to stand there and offer words of encouragement and pray like hell that this guy is not our Doctor.

So needless to say I will probably not be doing to much of this for the next few days. So enjoy our time apart and I would encourage you to start seeing other people. So until next time, wish me luck.

Video: Extra Time Episode 13 Act 1



Things done changed in the East. The two MLS Cup finalist are the conference's leading losers and Toronto is tied on points for 1st place. How the hell did we get here?

5.05.2009

Video: Texian Army TV, Episode 6



The dubiously named Art Vandelay talks about the traveling support in New England this past weekend.

Oh Noes! It's The Cosmos!

Cosmos

You really should read this. It's a bit long --in a good way-- so you might want to save it for lunch time so you'll have something to check out while your sandwich crumbs get all up in your keyboard. Designated Player Adam Spangler of This Is American Soccer went out to the New Jersey headquarters of Peppe Pinton, the man who owns the rights to the New York Cosmos, and came back with the tale of a man who after years of grandstanding and dillusion sounds a little desperate to get back in the game. Deperate enough to offer the Cosmos name to the Philly MLS franchise or to give it away for free to a second NY franchise...that would ground share with RBNY.

Sound crazy? It is. Read all about it at T.I.A.S.

MLS Final Kick: Week 7



Some highlights (Colorado, Houston) and some low lights (New York, Columbus).

5.04.2009

Video: Mexican Fans Are Hardcore



True passion is when you go the game even when you are locked out of the stadium.

This Video Does Not Feature Bob Saget



I interviewed Chris Rolfe once. It was funny, but not "so funny neither of us can keep a straight face"-funny. Such is not the case with MontzTV's blooperfied interview with the Fire striker as there are more laughs in it than in that last Paul Rudd film (I Love You Man sucks, save your money).

And yes, the Montz doing the interview is former Chicago Fire defender Jared Montz. 'Memba him?

Video: The Most International Match in Soccer History



I know there are some folks out there who will scream "keep politics out of football" but I have to post this because it's nice positive story for an otherwise uneventful Monday morning. Over the weekend a bunch of ambassadors to the United Nations got together for a very international kick about at NYC's Pier 4o soccer fields in aid of some unnamed charity. Good stuff; I was particularly pleased to see the ambassador for Liechtenstein lift the trophy at the end because, let's face it, it's the closest his tiny nation will ever come to winning any sort of international cup.

5.02.2009

Video: The Kevin Hartman Mixtape



In honor of his recent accomplishments, he is now Major League Soccer's all-time career leader in saves and wins, Kansas City has created this Kevin Hartman career highlight video/hairstyle retrospective. Good stuff that should be featured at youth goalie clinics and less discerning salon's for years to come.

5.01.2009

Video: Viva Football's CR7 Video



Damn this kid is good. He makes it look so easy (the guy who makes these videos, not Cristiano).

Video: FC Dallas Players Report Live From Margaritaville



Jimmy Buffet makes awful music and wears even worse clothes. But he has a very pro-cocktail, pro-vacation stance that I find hard to disagree with. And I love his fans as I have a whole raft of self-esteem issues and they just make me feel so much better about myself...but you couldn't pay me to get near one of his concerts.

FC Dallas young 'uns Brek Shea and Eric Avila are getting paid (sort of) to enter the fray of the Jimmy Buffet Experience tailgate though and have filed this video report which is shockingly margarita free.

This Is Macoumba Kandji

57095295

Prose and praise for one of the few bright spots so far in RBNY's 2009 campaign.

Video: England Fans Swimming In Passion



Good thing they tried this during World Cup Qualifiers and not Euro 08 Qualifiers; they might have broken the record for mass drownings instead.

I PROMISE You This Link is 100% Safe For Work

MayPH CoverA-1

Remember that Penthouse thing I mentioned a few weeks ago? Well if you were too shy, conservative or broke to pick up the May issue with the MLS preview in it, the article is now available for viewing on PH's 100% nudity-free website. You should read it just to see my picture all shadowed out (in case I run for public office) and who TT , Juan Pablo Angel & I all picked as the best young player in MLS (the choice seemed obvious at the time).

Video: 2 Minutes of Fla-Flu Atmosphere



Random but chill-inducing footage from the Flamingo-Fluminense derby in Brazil. It still amazes me when I see action in the stands that is as compelling as the action on the field.

NSR: The One Song That Made Asses Shake Last Night



Apparently Passion Pit's "The Reeling" is the new National Anthem for the "Am Appy" set (sorry MGMT, your time looks to be up). I dropped this at my DJ gig last night and the young, hip and intoxicated went for this song like it had a 80K starting salary, health care benefits and a gift card to Mac Mall attached to it. Too bad the moment didn't last longer and that there weren't more of them down to dance.