Red Bulls Reader bum-rushed Red Bulls Salzburg Sporting Director Heinz Hochhauser a few weeks ago and talked about Red Bull Salzburg's season, is European Golden Boot candidate in Marc Janko, and Red Bull Salzburg's new coach and soccer academy's in Ghana and Brazil. Say Heinz, what do you think the odds are of us ever seeing one of those kids from Africa or Brazil playing in NY when we can't even get one of the kids from our local academy?
Could this be what caused Tiffany May to run across the pitch in Tampa? And here we all thought that she was a Girl Gone Wild or something. A note to any active MLS players who may happen upon this post: no one allow Zach Thornton anywhere near the hot sauce at the pre-game meal.
Bea Arthur may have died last week, but her spirit lives on at ESPN the Magazine. Inspired by Ryan Giggs' surprising receipt of the FA Player of the Year Award they've drawn up the Bea Arthur Select XI; surprisingly there are a couple of MLS name in the mix next to geriatric geniuses like Maldini and Inzaghi. No official word yet but rumor has it that the City of Boca Raton is lined up for a shirt sponsor and that Blance Devereaux is already making moves to position herself as top-WAG.
I wanna die just like JFK,
I wanna die on a sunny day,
I wanna die in the U.S.A.
I wanna die
I wanna die
I wanna diiiiiie
That's the hook to one of the catchiest song that JAMC ever put out, "Reverence". The song actually begins (well, the song begins with an unholy squall of feedback and chemical beats but the opening lyrics begin with) "I wanna die just like Jesus Christ". I swear my mom almost drove me straight to our priest for an exorcism when she heard me singing along to it. Anyway I ran across this today while blogging for the day job and it's been on all morning. Bruce, this is for you.
Seattle got it done against RSL last night in the first U.S. Open Cup play in match coming away with a 4-1 victory. And they did it without Keller, Ljungberg, Montero, Alonso and most of the other starters against a Salt Lake side that boasted regulars Beckerman, Olave, Williams, Johnson, Findley and Movsisyan. Impressive.
But I'm honestly more impressed with the comprehensive recap video --with goals included-- that they had posted up before the clock struck midnight last night, that they in essence have a B stadium that they can play Cup matches in and that 4K people showed up for a match so early in the tournament. Seattle I love (what) you (are doing)...but I hate you.
It may turn out not to be as sketchy as it seems on paper but this kinda looks sketchy. Even if Blanco was just giving him a jersey for the hell of it it's crazy-poor form of him to do it at a game. Thank God he was never in the mafia.
Between some of Carver's comments and this, MLS officiating is really having a rough week. Maybe it'd be a good idea to cancel this week's games and send all the guys with FIFA badges on their shirts to a spa or something in Sonoma to unwind with a bottle of chardonnay. That seems to work pretty well for moms when they are having a rough one. They come back all refreshed and tan and way more agreeable. It may sound unorthodox but I'm telling you it would be a win for all parties.
Why anyone would let a New England fan into the RSL locker room for this commercial I don't know. But you kinda can't blame her for wanting to drop a deuce in one of their lockers after they dropped 6 on the Revs on Saturday. You know what they say, "Revenge is a dish best served in plastic training potty".
Can we all just face it as a people: even when preceded by the edgy, urban-implying word "street", soccer is just not tough. It's just my opinion and you may feel a differently but we can butch it up as much as we like but it just never comes across as, I don't know, it just doesn't come off as "hard" when married with hip hop (sorry Deuce) no matter what language it's in.
Especially when that language is French. If you are a French rapper and your name is not MC Solaar please start writing your farewell album now. Not that I am the hip hop authority but the only way to make this song any less street-official is to have a Schwayze remix with a verse by Sugar Ray.
Relive Alejandro Moreno's merciless punking of John Busch, Seattle's return to the win column, and RSL's outlandish second-half assault on young New England Brad Knighton. Seriously, that was child abuse...has anyone called Child Protective Services?
The boys over at The Original Winger reminded me that a big-screen adaptation of one of the rarest (and most expensive) books in the T.O.R library is on it's way to stateside cinemas next month. Taking place in 1979 Awaydays is a coming of age story about a Liverpool lad blah blah blah soccer blah blah blah fashion blah blah blah girls blah blah blah fisticuffs. Oh and the soundtrack is impeccable if you, like me, are into old people music.
In short it's Trainspotting for the soccer set. It's a pretty good book but having seen what happened to Fever Pitch I'll keep my sights set low and pray that the filmmakers overdeliver on this one.
Typically I would not expect CBS2 Chicago to give a Bridgeview rat's ass about a foreign club arriving in town to play an exhibition game at Toyota Park. But when that club is coming straight in from Mexico City in the midst of Swine Flu hysteria...people, do I even have to say it?
Ain't that something? The kind of mainstream press attention you want, you can't get. And the kind you can get, you don't want. Nothing to scare off the potential spectators like the possibly unfounded chance to be an extra in a real-life version of Outbreak.
It's probably not a fair exchange but I'll attempt to counter program my earlier negativity with something nice to look at that is RBNY-centric. I've learned that when you're upset with a loved one it's often best to not wallow in their faults but to remind yourself of their better qualities/moments.
Our man Dunny catches up with Real Salt Lake's Nat Borchers and talks about life, the universe and everything. Once again, this is some quality video out of Utah; if they keep up the good work it shouldn't be long before they get a footie flicks event at Sundance.
So I skipped going to the RBNY-D.C. United match yesterday and planned to watch it on DVR Sunday night. After a day out chasing the little guy around I was all stoked to sit on my ass and take in the game finally at about 10pm.
After the 1st D.C. goal I was less excited, but hung in long enough for the New York come back. And then in the 86th minute the broadcast fades to black on MSG Network and the Rangers post-game show starts up. I'm pissed but so beat by what's been a long week & weekend by this point that I just mumble something to the effect off "of course this would happen the one time we are beating D.C." and shuffle my exhausted ass up the stairs assuming that the home team walked away with three points.
By the time I reached the top of the stairs I remembered that this was no ordinary home team, this was New York; the name may have changed but it is still Metro so I better check the scores on the iPhone...just to see. So you can imagine the non-surprise I got when I see that they somehow managed to concede 2 goals in those waning minutes, finding yet a new way to snatch defeat from jaws of victory. So. Lame.
But not as lame as MSG for switching programs in the middle of a game. Metro is terrible but those guys are just disrespectful. If they didn't employ Uncle Shep for all these years I might have sterner words but since they are doing their part to help the aged I will leave it be...so long as they don't do it again.
EDIT: You know the more I think about it maybe MSG did me a favor by not letting me witness the collapse at the end. I already have enough United-related mental scares stored in the soccer portion of my head.
It is the Friday of what has been a long, sleepless week for me. I've just eaten a pile of eggs covered in hash browns and hot sauce with a Red Bull on the side for breakfast but I am still feeling a bit slow; I'm paying the price for staying up to watch the KC v. RBNY match on DVR after getting home from DJing.
So the next step in my attempt to get my mind as awake as my body is to watch some random compilation of soccer ridiculousness. If step-overs and stutters can't get me going it's on to phase 3: bumping rails of Folgers.
On New York and Chivas USA's 2-game week and the potentially hot seat of Tommy Soehn. He's been here before but earned a stay of execution. Can he right the ship before he has to walk the plank?
Memphis, TN has some good BBQ...I won't/can't deny that. But the best in the world? "The world", as in the whole of earthly creation? Sheeeeeeiiiiiiiit. You can't tell me that Kansas City, St. Louis, the state of North Carolina, and even the Parliamentary Republic of Mongolia don't have something to say about that statement. And do I even have to mention the great state of Texas?
I challenge you Carey Talley, I challenge you to meet me in lot 16A of Giants Stadium on 8/15 and sample the world's finest courtesy of Lockhart, TX's infamous Kreuz Market. I'll even let you have your pick of beef or their famous sausage. I defy you, no I dare you, to even try to say with a straight face that it ain't the most succulent thing you have ever tasted...including victory!
I've been avoiding mentioning a few recent TFC fan-related incidents because A) everyone else was talking about it, B) and the topic was getting waaay overblown to the point of near-glamorization. But really, can we rein it in a little Canuckistan? Not all of you obviously as most of you are model citizens. But some of y'all...some of y'all are just on some other sh*t right now. Let's not let the not-very-well-thought-out actions of a few screw it up for every one else.
Let it be known that in return for extending David Beckham's loan to AC Milan, Major League Soccer received
So this is what TFC players do when they are not playing, practicing or being inducted to local halls of fame: they lay in wait at soccer shops in Mississauga to show off their skills to the stilted wonder of all present.
I'm going to hijack my own post. Kind of a strange thing to do but it's my blog so WTF. I'm supposed to talk about tonight's match between K.C. and RBNY but I would instead like to state that Seth Stammler is a victim of the U.S. national team's outlandish depth at the defensive midfield role and it saddens me. He's been the most solid and maybe even only consistent player in New York for a few years now and he'll never get a look --not even a through the fingers peek-- on the 'Nats because his postion has more dudes in line for it than the "Express" line at the DMV.
Michael Bradley. Rico Clark. Mo Edu. Pablo. Benny Feilhaber. Shit even Jack Jewsbury (who is fine player & person) is gettin' hollered at before the phone ever rings for him. Sucks, but I guess in the big scheme of things it's a nice problem to have for U.S. National Team fans. But for Seth Stammler fans, not so much.
Well just one of them really. Thomas Bangalter dropped the robot schtick for one night and people haven't been so excited in a club since "Free Ecstasy" night. The elusive French hitmaker behind classic Daft Punk joints like "Da Funk" and "Aerodynamic" hit the decks at LA's Cinespace for Busy P's birthday soiree at the Dim Mak party and played (get this) only 3 songs.
Most DJ's would get stabbed if they tried to drop only 3 records yet this guy does it and folks are actually bragging about being there when it happened. My guy Bryan was there and put it in perspecitve: "It was like you went to the beach and all of a sudden Nessie surfaced just long enough for you to say "oh sh*t", take a picture and freak out. And then it was over".
It's funny how there are personnel fads in MLS. A few years ago D.C. United was importing Argentines at what seemed like a rate of one per month. Now, with 5 African players now amongst it's ranks, New England is mining Africa for all it's worth although RBNY seems to hot on it's heels with 4 players from the motherland. Mark my words people, the next player acquisition hotspot: Atlantis.
Chi-towners and those who have managed to hold onto that portion of your money once known as "discretionary income"...are you going to Lollapalooza? I would love nothing more than to see Depeche Mode, The Gaslight Anthem, Band of Horses, Kings of Leon, and one million other bands that I am too lazy type right now but I plan on being broke this summer so the wife can take a few months off with the kids. Ain't love some something?
Anyway, there are an absurd amount of good bands on the decidely centrist bill this year so if you have the means and inclination I'd recommend checking it out. Just watch the video to see who else is lined up for this year's festival of commercial alt consumerism (but sadly the band from Chuck E Cheese will not be appearing at the show although I think they make a cameo in this video).
Every spring NYC comes alive with one of the world's best known film festivals. Tomorrow the Tribeca Film Festival kicks off and this year's perfunctory footie flick is Rudo y Cursi starring Gael García Bernal & Diego Luna. In a nutshell it's the story of two bumbling brothers from the sticks who both get signed to play for a club in Mexico City and predictably all manner of shenanigans involving models, fast cars, sibling rivalry and vanity singing careers ensue.
If you are in NYC there are three showings:
Sun, Apr 26, 6:15PM AMC Village VII 3
Tue, Apr 28, 3:30PM
AMC Village VII 3
Sat, May 02, 6:30PM
Tribeca Cinemas Theater 2
Additionally, returning hero Bruce Du Nord informs us that there will be a screening as part of the Twin Cities International Film Festival in Minneapolis this Thursday.
By the way if any of you perverts are subscribers to Penthouse Magazine, keep an eye out for the 2009 MLS round table article with Juan Pablo Angel, Taylor Twellman, Greg Lalas and myself. I can't speak for the other guys but I am kind of impressed with myself for getting into Penthouse without having to shave my crotch or write a letter (and don't even front that you don't know what kind of letter I'm talking about). Yes, all this blogging has truly paid off.
If you're not a regular reader of the venerable nudie mag (or if you aren't about to fess up to it) it's the May issue and it's on newsstands now. I suggest you buy it because this may actually be the one time that you can say without lying that you bought it for the articles.
Pay no attention to the audio as we had a few different conversations going on at the same time so it's all a bit jumbled. Do pay attention to the sterling camerawork by Jamison though because the visuals are much better than anything Dunny (who took loads of pictures) & I have to say.
You guys already know that I am a nerd for soccer and music. I also completely geek out on marketing, advertising, branding and things of that nature. So this interview with a few of the big brains at Wexley School for Girls is so up my street.
Don't let the playful name (and equally irreverent website) fool you; they may be a non-traditional ad agency but they go hard and as their blog says, they will help you get your "mind blown out of your ear canal". If you've got the time & inclination, you should definitely give this article a read; whether you love or loathe Sounders you can't deny that the team's launch was anything but outstanding and raised the stakes for the next few American soccer teams that come along.
Philadelphia, you are now on the clock so if you're reading this Nicky Sak I recommend you print this piece, memorize it and distribute it amongst your staff. Or better yet place a call to 206.4388.900 ASAP.
In a move that the 22 year-old me would have wholeheartedly approved of, it appears D.C. United has replaced their marketing staff with a club promoter. Or at least that's what it looks like with tommorrow night's match being Singles Night and now having lined up a College Night and a Ladies Night.
I've been DJing and working in clubs since I was 17 so trust me when I say this: it's only a matter of time until the owner starts seeing one of the bartenders, Paul Oakenfold starts a monthly residency and someone sues the place over a slip & fall during a foam party.
I saw the other day on Bigsoccer that someone started an "Is Bruce Arena the worst coach in MLS?" thread. Could Allen Hopkins be behind it? Doubtful, but it's almost what he's suggesting here.
"One guy emails religiously calling me a scum bag and saying that my mother should have had me aborted. I get a lot of sh*t."
Sure he can be a bit of an annoyance from time to time --almost anyone can-- but is The Leprechaun really that loathed by ESPN's soccer audience? The Guardian seems to think so. Charlie Rose on the other hand is cool with him though.
According to Wikipedia "The term "Lisztomania" was coined by the German romantic literary figure Heinrich Heine to describe the massive public response to [composer Franz] Liszt's virtuosic piano performances. At these performances, there were allegedly screaming women, and the audience was sometimes limited to standing room only."
It's also the latest single from Phoenix, who have named their upcoming album Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix. Apparently they're on come classical music trip at the moment...just like the f*cking French, innit?
Kansas City are taking the route of selling the players to sell the team. That's not a bad idea since even most of us who follow American soccer pretty closely can't tell you too much about these guy's personality. So why not spend 30 seconds getting to know Davy "Long Bomb" Arnaud and Jack Jewsbury by way of a couple of adverts aimed squarely at the heartland.
Slick stuff from the Bridgeview massive. I'm not sure if this aired anywhere but looks like it was commissioned last season. Regardless it's the best thing I've seen this week. But is it better than
T. Isaac Halasima's winner of an advert for RSL from a few weeks back? You tell me.
You ever see that classic Chris Rock stand-up where he says that the real victim in the original O.J. case was Ike Turner because until O.J. came along he was the king of spousal abusers? Now being raised in a household that was at one point split in three due to domestic violence, some may find it odd that I can still see the humor in that routine but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.
It's not the same thing at all --NOT AT ALL!-- but I wonder if Toronto feels like Ike Turner now that Seattle is O.J. (you know without the abhorrent behaviour, devilshment, and murder) and everyone is following them like a white Ford Bronco?
The house certainly looks better than it's future inhabitants do right now (and it's isn't even finished yet).
Philly MLS fans meet your new president. The man certainly has sports experience having worked with Nick Sakiewicz at the Tampa Bay Mutiny, the XFL's Orlando Rage and the AFL's Tampa Storm. Please join us in welcoming Tom back to the MLS show.
Another fantastic bit of RSL-centric video, this time around the spotlight is on Canadian ace Will Johnson (and again featuring that dude Dunny). Oh Toronto, don't you wish you could repatriate this guy?
A deleted scene from the Dream Team episode of the best comedy on television (well it's tied with Reno 911), The Office. Dwight is the ref, Andy tries his hand at some CR7-style footwork and Jim doesn't know what the offside rule is. And watch out for Creed as he's even more confused about the game's rules than Jim.
I typically am not in the business for apologizing for being me. But just this once, and only once, will I apologize for my accent. I know that I can get to twangin' but damn, this lady's voice is the most annoying thing to come out of the South since Jim Crow. You can literally see misery wash over The Don's face. If this is what I sound like to your non-country ears I am truly sorry.
This clip is nothing special in the sense that it's not news to anyone that Barra Brava like to jump around and make all manner of noise during D.C. United matches. However this clip isn't from the post game celebration or during the run of play. This is halftime...this is how you get down people.
Traditionally/stereotypically when New York "Bosses" meet in The Meadowlands it is usually to dump a body or discuss some unpleasant bussiness that may culminate in the dumping of a body. But thanks to the RICO act and the end of The Sopranos it doesn't happen nearly as much as you think (or that you know about at least).
Red Bulls Reader however caught up with RBNY backup-to-the-backup goalie Terry Boss and his pointyball-playing brother, Giants tight end Kevin, at Giants Stadium recently. Did you know that the Oregon-born keeper was a Puerto Rican International? Crazy.
You know what? Shalrie is kinda good with kids. He should maybe start a day care. There could be nap time, story time, back-third thoughball time, advanced dread care & maintenance time etc. Real groundbreaking stuff that could change the face of pre-middle school child care forever. So long as the uniform does not have Chelsea or Man U. logos plastered all over it.
When you go away for a while sometimes you want to make a splashy entrance when you come back. Spoofing the new MLSnet franchise from His Ginger Majesty™ seems to qualify as such an entrance. Imitation...flattery...yadda yadda yadda.
I wonder if they were required to bring the mascot with them since it's a Fox station and all? And check out young Stuart Holden doing his best John Madden impression and dumbing it down for those of us watching at home by explaining that to win the match Houston will need to score more goals than New York.
You ever notice that about Madden? At least once a game dude will say something that implies that no one watching the game is familiar with even the most basic rules of American football. I actually once heard him say "If he catches that ball and is able to cross the goal line that's 6 points for the Giants." Incredible.
I think I like Nate Jacqua's a bit better. Perhaps because he's a field player I feel that he's far more likely to end up needing an X-ray thus the whole thing becomes that much more believable and authentic. If I ever break my booty bone or eat some bad shellfish in the City of Rain, Miss Mason gets my co-pay.
Kasey Keller in goal + the Canadian dub-house of Deadbeat = best ever hospital advert.
Soccernet's Jeff Carlisle gets the engines warm for the first Superclasico of 2009. With the way LA has played so far, on paper this should fall to the Goats. But the derby atmosphere is the wild card as it always elevates the level of play to unusual heights. It really is a toss up for me...what do y'all think?
Maybe I'll quit bullsh*tting this summer and start surfing. I live at the beach so loads of my good friends and neighbors are all about it and I've paddled out a few times. But I always shy away from any real commitment to it because once anyone I know starts surfing they start being "a surfer". They start using surf lingo and having surf convos that always seem to involve a trip to Australia or a really cool surf camp in Costa Rica. New tattoos are acquired. Flip flops become the footwear of choice. Consuming fish tacos becomes tantamount to sex and spending time in "the green room". And they start dressing in "surfwear".
Basically I have a fear that if I enjoy surfing on the reg, that it will consume my personality and that I won't be me anymore but instead a walking stereotype. But if it will keep me as fit as Hey Dude maybe it would be worth it; it probably won't get me called into camp by Bob Bradley but maybe my missus won't shudder at the site of my gut.
The funny thing about this clip is that A) a certain selfish Englishman isn't in it and B) Stefan Miglioranzi says that he's a fan of the film "Groundhog Day". I bet the entire organization is feeling that movie right now after being defeated by Colorado for the second time in four days last night.
Despite certain obvious similarites, the loose affiliation of way-awesome blogs under the Designated Players moniker are in no way affiliated with Del Playa Soccer aka DP Soccer. However I'll go out on a limb and say that most of us would probably support thier "game plan" of "kicking beer out of people's hands and getting titties in our face". Oh college, you were always so funny.
Silversun Pickups have a new album about to drop and this is the first single. Brian Aubert's crew is still early-Smashing Pumpkins redux from the fuzzed out guitars right down to the female bassist, but this sh* t is just burnin' so ain't mad 'em.
In which we learn that Alexi Lalas was in Steve Zakuani's hotel room the night before the draft, Sam Cronin got his grill busted at the combine, AJ Delagarza wears unnecessarily large earrings and Richard Jata's draft speech is still the best ever.
Why can't I get Jovan Kirovski and Dema Kovalenko on a couch talking about who could kick who's ass in fight? We all know the answer but still it's like Big Worm said at the end of Friday, "It's princibalities involved in this".
And is it just me or could Danny Dichio be cast quite easily in a 1990's Guy Ritchie film?
Ed. Note: Yes, I am aware that "princibalities" is not a real word.
People wonder why Toronto FC gets taken seriously by the city's populace. MLSE definitely gets to take a lot of credit for that as do the city's inhabitants. It also has to be said that a big part of it is the local and national media treating the sport, the team and the players like they're big time. Take The Footy Show on national sports network The Score for instance. What would it take in America to get Chris Klein on the couch on ESPN proper when it's not part of a a pre or post-game show? Nothing short of Congressional intervention.
I'll be ranting about this over the course of the day. Sorry. I'm grumpy and a feeling a little inferior and underserved at the moment.
Ah the 70's. What a fantastic era it must have been with all the bands in jump suits & afros, muscle cars and professional athletes --soccer players no less!-- on TV encouraging you to harm your body for money. Nowadays every group dresses like sh*t, gas-gussling is frowned upon and no one is allowed to sell you smokes on TV, not even professional athletes. America, we have truly fallen off.
Respect to Kenn for uploading the video.
This goal was not nominated for Goal of the Week (but these were). Which is a shame because the one-time between Jacqua and Ljundberg was beautiful and the finish was on point. Forget watcha' heard, Seattle is for real.
Ever wonder what goes on on the team bus? Wonder know more as Matt Reis does his Lil Wayne impression, Wells "Arkansas Twang" Thompson brushes up on his duck callin' and the one like Shalrie Joseph just walks around harassing people. Funny stuff from the Revs bus ahead of last week's RBNY game.
I threw this on at the end of the night when I was DJing last night. One of my high school anthems (and judging by the props I got from some of the assembled drunks it was the anthem for a few others as well).
LA has officially signed U.S. international Greg Berhalter. So to recap Bruce brought Eddie Lewis in last season, picked up Kirovski in the supplemental draft, was able to keep Landon from falling into German hands, pulled Tony Sanneh in from mothball storage and now has Berhalter to help organize the defense. How long before he convinces Cobi to take of the suit and suit back up?
Basically LA's new plan for success is to recreate the 2002 national team to the best of it's ability. Sounds cool in theory but did you see how well that Smashing Pumpkins reunion worked out?
...so says the Toronto Sun. That's a hell of a statement to make without going into figures but I get what they're saying. And I can't really say anything since I've been prone to fits of hyperbole from time to time as well.
From the official press release:
"Celades was signed by New York on March 11, 2009. He is a veteran of the Spanish First Division (La Liga), having played for FC Barcelona and Real Madrid. The 33-year old began his career with Barcelona, appearing in 72 matches over four seasons and helping the Catalan side to multiple domestic and international titles, including two La Liga and Spanish Cup titles, as well as the 1997 UEFA SuperCup. After a stint with Celta Vigo, he made 56 appearances over five seasons with Real Madrid, playing a role in winning two La Liga championships and the 2001-02 UEFA Champions League."
Celades also made 72 appearances over three seasons with Real Zaragoza in Spain.
"Echeverry, 32, was signed by New York on March 26, 2008 after joining the club from Colombian First Division side, Atletico Nacional. He played in nine regular season games last year, starting in seven, before undergoing season-ending knee surgery in August. He scored for the Red Bulls on June 25 in a 1-0 exhibition win over Chivas de Guadalajara in Glendale, AZ."
According to the all-knowlegible Metrofanatic that comes to 581 minutes, 0 goals, 0 assists. It's sight-unseen on Celades but at a glance I'd call this more than a fair trade, wouldn't you?
I love the play for authenticity involved in this film. Not only does it sound like they've got the actual sax player from the G.E. Smith-era Saturday Night Live Band, but they appear to even have Chris Farley as Chicago Bears 'superfan' Todd O'Connor posted up in red on the bar stool. So professional.
Seriously though, congrats to Bryan James & co. on their anniversary; the more the merrier.