Bobby Boswell Talking Turkey in Antalya.

Word out of Antalya, Turkey is that Bobby Boswell is currently in the land of kebab & hookah's and thinking about joinig up with local club Antalyaspor. If you are not Turkish and that name sounds familiar is because you may recall that they currently employ former Dynamo player Joseph "Jar Jar" Ngwenya.

I know playing in Turkey is technically "playing in Europe" but just barely (they share a border with Iraq for God's sake) and sort of seems like a lateral move to my Turkish Super Lig uneducated eyes. Is it just me? Still, Antalya certainly is prettier than Houston so that's got to count for something.

By The Way

I'm still on holiday for a few more days, but if something monumental happens I might be around, but otherwise I'm on the family time tip.

Happy Holidays again
SF

TOR Favourite Albums of 2008: #5

I know I've gone on & on about this band in the recent past so I'll spare you the deep dive today. All I'll say is that Cut Copy's second album "In Ghost Colours" is all about the build ups (as the video will attest to). Poppier than New Order and kitted out with all of the glow sticks & whistles needed for a proper stadium house experience, if you have an irrational fear of dancefloors this album may be the one to finally cure you of your affliction forever.

Run DMB's Car Get's Vandalised by Arseholes

You think it's bad when you f*ck with a black man's stereo, just see what happens when you f*ck with the whole car. Now I wouldn't condone murdering someone over vandalaizing my fine European motor car...but I would understand.

I really hope Run-DMB doesn't kill anyone over this this holiday season; it would be a real bummer if he had to miss Bob Bradley's US camp in January because he was serving at Her Majesty's Pleasure. That and it would probably make Moms Beasley really sad.

Brad Friedel: Legend

Dear Brad-

On behalf of the American soccer nation, you make our expatriate footballing dreams come true. Thanks for all the great years past and the bad, too stubborn-to-retire ones that may come in the future.

Happy Holidays
Greg Lalas

TOR's Favourite Albums of 2008: #6

And the award for Comedy Album of the Year goes to...Kanye West for 808's & Heartbreak!

The Hanukkah Post

Happy Hanukkah to all my tribes-people out there in the soccersphere. In honor of all of the Menorah lighting & whatnot that's kicking off today I just wanted to throw out my most sincere well wishes to you and yours this holiday season. Extra-special T.O.R shalom to the Lev's, the Ryazansky's and the Weiss's. La Hiem y'all.

While we are on the topic, how well do you know your soccer Jewry? If you need to brush up on who might like lox and who may not, you should check out the new blog from Jew or Not Jew. Sprinkled amongst the Rod Carew's and Sandy Kofax's they feature/debate the Jewishness of a number of footie personalities that seem like shoe-ins (Johnny Bornstein anyone?) and those whose that you may not have guessed. It's absurd to a degree but there is some damn fine humor in there.

Check out Jew or Not Jew's athlete's & coaches section. You should also roll up on this bit that The Kin of Fish did on Jewish soccer legends.

Video: Clint Dempsey's Goal vs. Middlesbrough

Duece's Fulham got it done yesterday against Middlesbrough, with Dempsey providing the cherry on top in the 59th minute. C'mon you Whites!

Video courtesy of Soccerclips.net.

Revs Honcho Addresses Relocation Rumours

A special dedication from Revs COO Brian Biello, who says the team is going nowhere.

It's "Kljesten", Pronounced Like "Winnner"

Sacha Kljesten, you may be U-23 Player of the Year but don't expect strangers to start pronouncing your name correctly anytime soon. Especially local sportscasters who have obviously never seen one Chivas USA match. But congrats my dude...you deserve the props.

Columbus, It Had to Be You

With apologies to Salt Lake City (and a few trigger happy writers) there really is no option as attractive as Crew Stadium for the WCQ against Mexico. ESPN's Steve Davis is laying down why, it's up to you to pick it up.

Red Bull GM Speaks to You, Me & Red Bulls Reader

Running the New York MLS franchise has got be one of the hardest gigs in American soccer. You're in one of the best cities in the nation for soccer fan's yet most of them don't care that you exist. And the one's that do care...oh huh huh, we care a lot. Like "A LOT" alot. Same thing goes for the media. AND your team plays on the worst surface this side of Johnny Trejo's face.

It's ok though because as long as you build this palace out in NJ, don't keep talking about it in timetable so much that it you become a national punchline, and you (inexplicably) get to a cup final for the 1st time in franchise history, you're doing OK for being the new guy. It also helps that you --unlike your predecessor-- are not afraid to talk to people and spend your time hiding under your desk for fear of having to answer questions. Any questions. Erik Stover, the current RBNY GM, is answering questions and will take more; hopefully he sticks around long enough to see his job get a little easier.

TOR's Favourite Albums of 2008: #7

This one isn't a new recording but a new release if that makes any sense. The Clash Live at Shea Stadium was recording in 1982 but never got a proper release until this year. Now I know there are those punk purist out there who aren't too high on the band at this point because they were flirting so heavily with elements of dub ("This Is Radio Clash"), disco ("The Magnificent Seven") and throwback rock ("Should I Stay or Should I Go"). But that's why I prefer them at this point --some would say their peak, at least commercially-- because they sprinkled some new spices onto the punk plate without it sounding forced.

Remember when David Bowie did that terrible, hokey, I'm-desperate-to-sound-relevant drum & bass record in the 90's? This is the exact opposite.

Video: Trailer for The REAL Chiva Girls

Personally I am not a big advocate of cheerleaders at soccer games. It just seems a little off, kinda like that one time I went to an Indian restaurant back home in Texas that had a beef korma on the menu; you have to cater to the audience, but there's something unauthentic about it.

But hey, who am I to judge. If these lovely young women want to share there love of synchronization, go-go boots, exposed midriffs & shouty songs with the American soccer fan why should anyone stand in the way of their dreams? Furthermore, why shouldn't anyone base a reality show around it? Can't be any worse than Momma's Boys.

NSR Video: Children's Hospital Suprisingly Not Kid Friendly

What happens when writers/actors from The Office, The State, Saturday Night Live, The Daily Show & Will & Grace get together to gang-spoof Gray's Anatomy, ER and Scrubs simultaneously? You get Children's Hospital.

FACT: Footie Fans Complain More Than Any Naggin Spouse

See the guy in this clip? Although he supports England I swear there is a little of him in all of us. I'm fighting very hard to keep this post from turning into a rant so please excuse the brevity. The question is simple: why are soccer fans in this country so negative? If you have any insight into why we feel so entitled please share as I am honestly at a loss today.

Video: Jeff Bradley Goes Deep With Hull Skipper Phil Brown

Mark 2008 down as the year Hull City went from ashy to classy. There's still loads of season ahead of them but the EPL freshmen are currently sitting in 6th place in the league and holding on to a spot in Europe. Meanwhile the only thing keeping Robinho's Man City out of the relegation zone is goal differential. So yeah, not bad at all for a small club from a small city in the eastern hinterlands of Yorkshire.

Anyway, Jeff Bradley (Jersey Shore represent!) sat down with their gaffer for an insightful & lengthy interview the other day and the video above is the product. Apparently Jeff is on an 11-day trip across the U.K. taking in Liverpool, London, Manchester and God knows where else (check his blog for more info). Hopefully he'll send back more evidence of his time in Jolly Olde because this stuff is excellent.

Oh Snap/Crikey! Flight of the Conchords Season Premiere

If you don't watch HBO's Flight of the Conchords you are missing out. If you don't have HBO, it's worth getting just for this (and True Blood). Seriously, it's the funniest thing America has seen from New Zealand since Cameron Knowles was a part of the Real Salt Lake defense back in 2005.

So Q&A's Were On Sale Apparently Today

There's another Q&A that I should let you know about today. Darren Huckerby of San Jose Earthquake fame did one for MLSnet and it's a two-parter, you know just like those "very special episodes" of Family Ties that warned kids about the danger of strangers. Except this one doesn't have any creepy old guys who try to lure you to their apartments with promises of cartoons and candy. Although to some people, Midlanders are just as discomforting so there is that angle.

TOR's Favourite Albums of 2008: #8

C'mon now. You knew this couldn't go too far before Justice made an appearance. They dropped the live album "A Cross The Universe" 2 weeks ago and it has yet to leave my car's CD player. 75+ minutes of screaming, head-banging, hands-in-the-air dance floor brutalism that's enough to resurrect the ghost of rave for the duration of the album. It is also a great way to get a speeding ticket.

Medium-Sized Intro to A Long Q&A With Sebastien Le Toux

Please excuse the seemingly random David Bowie reference in the caption. It's just that his white jacket made me think of The Killers, whose new album is produced by Stuart Price aka Jacques Lu Cont who does remix's under the name Thin White Duke. He also fronts the band Zoot Woman and wore a white jacket like the one Sounders forward Sebastien Le Toux is rocking in the video for "It's Automatic".

Now that you've suffered through my Matt Pinfield-esque intro, you should read this Q&A with the aforementioned Frenchman. If you don't follow USL you probably don't know too much about him but once Seattle joins MLS you will most assuradly be hearing loads about him. Frenchie can play.

Video: The Sigi Schmid Seattle Presser

Damn. Dude already cried, who knows what else could happen?

TOR's Favourite Albums of 2008: #9

Next on my list of favorite albums for 2008 is the third album from Montreal's The Stills. After their altogether brilliant debut album Logic Will Break Your Heart, the guitarist left and the drummer started playing guitar and splitting time as vocalist; it was a, um, sh*tty move that resulted in a shockingly bad record, Without Feathers.

But with their third album, Oceans Will Rise, they seem to have gotten past the awkward transition phase and delivered a really solid rock record. It lacks the hips of Logic Will Break Your Heart, but it's a vast improvement over the musical massacre of the last album. Check out the clip of 2 songs form the new album above: "Don't Talk Down" & "Eastern Europe" live from the Mod Club in Toronto.

Stuart Holden: "I’m Ready to Step Up"

If I were a Dynamo supporter I might be more than a little concerned about the loss of Dwayne De Rosario to his native Canuckistan and the lack of depth at striker, especially with Nate Jacqua already in Seattle auditioning for a cameo on Grey's Anatomy. But I'm not orange so it's not my problem. But if I were, I'd read this piece on Stuart Holden in today's Houston Chronicle and probably calm right the f*ck down.

The dude has been tapped to start in the attacking midfield role left vacant by King Cornrow™ and that seems like a good move to my ignorant soccer mind. I'm not no coach or player so what do I really know but Holden's got youth, skill and --from reading this article-- boatloads of confidence and desire. Now 2009 is but a point in the future at the moment but I honestly think that this deal is going to work out in the best interest of both sides: TFC gets a desperately-needed bad MF in the middle of the attack who happens to be street official in T.O. and Houston gets to begin the transition into the next era without the temptation to start experience over youth.

See, everybody is happy. Except for De Ro's hairdresser...that dude is going to be out of some serious scratch.

MUST-SEE VIDEO: Judas (The Mo Johnston Story)

This is superb stuff really. The Mo Johnston story covering the whole of his playing career from Partick Thistle to Celtic to Rangers to the Wizards and everything in between, including his breaking of the sectarian line at Rangers. It's a half-hour long so pop a cold one, get a bag of chips and sit back if you can.

Fernando Torres, Playstation Addict

I enjoy a good session of gaming as much as the next guy. In fact I hope to get in a bit of Far Cry 2 in tonight when I get back to the manor. But Fernando Torres needs an intervention y'all. The Spaniard has spent £35,000 installing three "PlayStation rooms" in his house, each complete with a giant plasma TV, surround sound and PlayStation 3 consoles.

I know he's rich and all but come on now, that is just overboard. I could see having one room dedicated to wasting time digitally, really I could. But three? Either you're just being showy or you really need to put the World of Warcraft down; there's help around, seek it.

Photos of the Day: Yank Footie Player's Vegas Job

Our man Charlie hipped me to a bunch of photos of Sacha Kljesten, Charlie Davies, Benny Feilhaber, Robbie Rogers, Stuart Holden and few other members of American soccer's youth movement ballin' outta control in Las Vegas this past weekend. Apparently everyone who has at least an Olympic cap for the U.S. was out there. Oh, and so was Mike Magee.

Forget 'young Hollywood' with all their cocaine and TMZ. These are real players.



Robbie Rogers must be the ladykiller of the bunch. Or the freak. It really could go either way but judging by the smile on her face (and another photo to come), I'd say it was the former.



This is pretty much Vegas in a nutshell: cheesing it drunkenly for the camera's, couch-dancing, confusion, at some point someone inevitably does "the cabbage patch", another guy's brother shows up out of nowhere and a few random birds off to the side.



If ever there was photo that was positively gagging to be the subject of a you write the caption contest this is it.



More Stuart Holden. I kinda want to hang with this guy as he seems to not give a damn and isn't afraid to let you know it. Stuart call me, I'll introduce you to an exhibitionist/receptionist I know that loves accents and vodka. Natch.



I take back what I said about the earlier photo that was Vegas in a nutshell. THIS is Vegas in a nutshell: tig 'ol biddies and bottle service.



How about our Sacha? I feel like the kid is the Vinnie Chase of this crew. You just know that this song was blasting when the flash went.



Gentlemen, would you join me in standing at your workstations right now to salute young Robbie Rogers for behaving like pro athlete. It seems like only yesterday he was a hot prospect returning from an short, troubled European adventure with all manner of question marks surrounding him. Now look at him, drink in hand with women at the front, back and feet of him. Play on player.

TOR's Favourite Albums of 2008: #10

Vampire Weekend's self-titled debut: put plainly it sounds like the soundtrack to an imaginary Wes Anderson movie that alternates between the mythical NY of The Royal Tenenbaums and 1960's African Highlife clubs. This is "A-Punk" and it is AOK.

The Best World Cup '94 Story I Have Ever Heard

If you know even a bit about Jason McAteer, you just know that he can tell a good story. The former Ireland international (50+ caps) was one of the central characters of the "Spice Boys" clique --along with Steve McManaman, Robbie Fowler to name a few-- that wreaked havoc in Liverpool in the late 90's. He also gets onstage shout-outs from Bono and has had his beak broken by Roy Keane, so you know he done a bit of living and certainly has a tale or two to tell.

Anyway, this one is a total cracker and comes courtesy of Channel Bee, which is Tim Lovejoy from Soccer A.M.'s online thingy. Hilarious stuff on there so expect to see more of it here.

This Just In: DeRo to BMO in 2009

See this is what I'm talking about. Toronto is bring DeRo back home for the 2009 season in exchange for allocation money and Julius James. As I type this the TFC faithful are probably crying Carlsberg-tainted tears of joy at the thought of the hometown boy in the engine room of the Big Red Machine next year and I don't blame them. But here's the $325,000 question ($325000 was DeRo's 2008 salary); is he the DP that John Carver has been crying out for or has he been brought back home to be the Canadian Donovan?

Who knows but either way it will just be awesome to see him doing his thing in front of his people next year. You think BMO is loud now? Sh*********t, wait 'til they're cheering for DeRo, not against DeRo.

Some People Are Still Not For Kinnear

Geordies...not for Kinnear, not f*ckin' 'ere.

The TOR Year End Music Top 10 (This Thing Goes to 11)

Since it's the off season and things are moving slower than San Jose's stadium progress (what, I said it) allow me to indulge you with my top 10 (+1) albums of 2008. I'll be spitting them out individually over the next few days in between not discussing "SigiGate" and emails tainted with whispers of the Revs moving to Connecticut. Bear in mind these are my favorite albums of 2008, not necessarily the best albums of 2008, which are two completely different things.

So starting off we have "Jim", the sophomore record from lefty, British singer/instrumentalist Jamie Lidell. Brimming with bright, sunny soul and funky electronic flourishes this was a big one for me over the summer, the soundtrack to at least a dozen bbq's. The video above is for the lead-off single "Another Day" and it's dark bizarreness stands in contrast to the light & airiness of it's gospel-tinged soundtrack. Don't you just love juxtaposition?

Which TFC Player Gave Their Kid a Video Camera for Xmas?

TFC doesn't give a f*ck y'all. Not only will they break all manner of Canadian child labor laws to find a host for TFCtv, but they will send him into a bar to get the story. Ron Burgundy would be appalled...can't you stay classy Toronto?

Video: Things That Go "Oi" in the Night

Marvell Wynne: The Goal.com Interview

Somebody at some website talked to some guy who plays some sport somewhere north of Buffalo. One person asks a bunch of questions. The other person answers them. It's not the most engaging conversation but I guess it's the off-season so we have to take what we can get. Have at it.

Benny Hill's Golden Goalies & Silver Saves

Olde guys, can you remember when you were a kid a Benny Hill was the naughtiest thing you had a prayer of seeing on late night TV? You would watch the entire show not-so-secretly hoping for a nipple-slip knowing good and well no such thing would ever happen. Those where the days.

Steve Nicol: "It Was Just One Bad Thing After Another"

Fox Sports has an interview with Liverpool legend and New England skipper Steve Nicol about all the things that went right & wrong for the Revs in 2008. He also gives up the goods on the impact of Superliga & CCL, scouting players via DVD, and his future at Foxboro. Regardless of whether or not he wants to stay (and he does want to stay), how long do you think the Kraft's will keep him around without an MLS Cup to show for it?

Greg Lalas is My Afternoon Inspiration

Greg Lalas' Def Leppard talk has inspired me. I just listened to Pyromania for the first time in years and it kinda ruled. If you can get through "Foolin'" or "Photograph" without singing along to the gang-vocal hooks, you have no soul.

A few months ago Greg actually told me (jokingly) that if there was a reason the Galaxy failed, it was because he and Alexi went to a four day long hair-metal festival in Oklahoma that featured Def Leppard in the middle of the season. You hear that Riot Squad? The blame for the 2008 debacle of a season lies squarely on the shoulders of Joe Elliot and co.

Video: Extra Time 2008 Final

Shep & Greg's last show for 2008 and it's real special. The entire show is dedicated to answering your questions from the mailbag. They touch on a bit of everything from transfer rumors, American player development to Def Leppard (yes, Def Leppard). Drink it in.

NSR: Clint Eastwood's Gran Torino

Who do you think would win in a bare knuckles, steel-cage ladder-match; Clint Eastwood or Chuck Norris? Norris has the martial arts skills but Eastwood is just ornery and that's a wild card that you can't put a value on.

He's got a new picture coming out that I kinda want to see just because he plays such a grumpy, olde "I ain't changing for nobody" hard-ass in it. Basically it's Archie Bunker meets Dirty Harry. Plus there is a muscle car. Awesome.

I Lived the "Soccer Mom" Episode of Family Guy This A.M.

I just called a woman at the deli "sir". I did this because she had both a deeper voice and a hairier lip than I. Needless to say the "go to hell" look she gave me was long & hard enough to send the G-Spot of my guilt's vagina into uncontrollable, orgasmic exctasy.

So I'd like to apologize to the butch lady at the deli for accidentally pointing out the obvious; have a laugh courtesy of Family Guy, it will make you feel better...or at least keep you from crying.

Video: Definition of a Pessimist

HAAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAA!

I shouldn't laugh so hard since I'm a Fulham fan; we're not to far off this mark.

Houston Headed To Carlos & Charlie's For CCL

The draw is in for the quarterfinal round of the inaugural CONCACAF Champions League so Dynamo fans with cash to burn can start booking their March travel now. Houston will take on Atlante at home in February between the 24th & 26th. That'll be cool and all to get out and support the boys in the middle of a long winter but the away leg is where it's at.

Why? Because Atlante relocated from Mexico City to Cancun at the beginning of last season. And you know what goes on in Cancun the 1st week in March (which is when the Dynamo visit)...



If I were a Dynamo fan I would be hard-pressed to find a better excuse to max-out a credit card and ball outta control in the name of transcontinental sporting glory than 4 days of drink, sun, skin, sweat and soccer. Texian Army, you really need to get on this sh*t pronto; this is a recipe for the greatest, most-defiled, high-risk of arrest and/or STD-acquisition road trip in the history of American soccer. Get out there and make history!

Rise of the Foot Soldier: A Feel Good Movie Just in Time for Christmas

If you like this sort of thing, Rise of the Foot Soldier --the biopic of Inter City Firm legend Carlton Leach-- came out in the U.S. on DVD last week. Bloody stuff that is not for the faint hearted. And as all contemporary Brit gangster films do, it features the now-requisite Frank Harper-as-geezer role. Seriously, this guy has played the hard man in every Brit film since Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels. Sort yourself out Vinnie Jones; quit fighting locals in South Dakota and reclaim your crown son.

NSR: Muse "Fury (Live at Royal Albery Hall)"

Two questions: Is 'Sex Rock' a genre? And if so is this it's Stairway to Heaven?

Glenn Davis *Hearts* Texian Army

Over on his blog, Houston Chronicle footie guru Glenn Davis gives the slow clap to the Texian Army today. It's always nice to see the press acknowledge the contributions of the supporters groups although it doesn't happen nearly as often as it should (yet somehow the Lider "The Drama" Marmol saga generated thousands of words from writers in 2 different cities, go figure). More love for the faithful please.

Video: Parkhurst & Smith Say Goodbye to NE on ShalrieTV

Leave it to my dude Shalrie Joseph to drop this behind-the-scenes clip into my inbox unannounced (good-lookin' out cousin, keep the ShalrieTV comin'). It's 2+ minutes of him clowning in the locker room with the Revs dearly departed; Micheal "Denmarked" Parkhurst and Khano "Seattle Slew" Smith, whose signing bonus from the Sounders was apparently an XBOX 360. Personally I would have held out for one of those big-ass touchscreen things like the guy has on CNN, but I'm a picky S.O.B.

NSR: Oh. My. Sh*t. Blur to Reunite for 09 Shows

Colchester in the area! That's Damon Albarn himself confirming that one of the pillars of the 'Cool Britannia' era is finally burying the bullsh*t to reunite for live gigs next summer. Blur are set to play a massive show in London's Hyde Park this summer to the delight of waifish models, 90's glory-seekers, scooter enthusiasts, Anglophiles and actual British people alike. And then there's me.

When I used to DJ a short-lived Britpop™ night in college (at The Curtain Club in Deep Ellum, Dallas) there were 5 songs that were fail-proof to get every girl with a bobbed haircut and an A-line dress and all of the dude's wearing Ben Sherman shirts under their anorak's --which were wholly unnecessarily even in the dead of a Texas winter-- out on the dance floor. 2 out of the 5 were from Blur; 'Girls and Boys' and the original baggy banger, 'There's No Other Way'.

Video: Brad Friedel Wins a Major Award

Aston Villa keeper and Clevelander Brad Friedel has won a major award; the Barclays Merit Award. Sadly it's not the kind that lights up and wears fishnets but it might have arrived in a box marked "Fragile" (pronounced "fra-gee-lay"). Kudos to you old man for a record 167 consecutive Premier League appearances.

Video: ATP Meets MLS

Tennis anyone?

The Onion: "Seattle's Disastrous Sports Year Continues With Addition Of Major League Soccer Team"

From this week's Onion:

"After witnessing its baseball team finish in last place, its NFL team break its streak of five straight playoff appearances, and its NBA team leave for Oklahoma City, Seattle received another blow with the addition of a new Major League Soccer franchise, the Sounders FC.

"I mean, I sat through all 11 of the Huskies' losses, but this is worse than any of that," said Seattle resident Dusty Warren, who watched in resignation as the MLS expansion draft aired on a nearby television. "People will be wearing those jerseys and making up stupid chants for weeks before they realize they've been had. It's almost as insulting as when that WNBA team won the title."

They got us, damn them. Oh well, not too bad considering that this is the first time MLS has been mentioned since the arrival on MLS Jesus. Somebody needs to tell them that they are missing soooo many opportunities; LA's cock-ups alone could have fill the sports section for weeks this season.

Video: LA Galaxy vs. Oceania All Stars

Just because I know that only about 13 people watched the game, here's the highlights from LA's match in New Zealand from Friday night. How Edgar Davids is an Oceania All Star I don't know, your guess is as good as mine.

All You Ever Wanted To Know About Tim Leiweke But Were Afraid to Ask

The Guardian gets AEG honcho Tim Leiweke to come clean on the future of sport and everything else in between. A loooooooong read for sure, but it will give you something to do during halftime of the Sunday morning EPL match on FSC, Everton vs. Aston Villa which is going to look like a chart of U.S. goalkeepers past (Freidel), present (Howard) and future (Guzan).

Video: The Belfast Beckhams

You ever spent any time in Belfast? It's a good craic for sure but it's a bit batty, heavy and sad. So are The Belfast Beckhams.

TFC Thinking Grass Pitch, Training Center, More Seats

Not that it's going to happen right now, but how bizzare/brilliant would it be if Toronto's demand remains so fervent that for once a soccer team needs to make more seats instead of having too many seats available? They're thinking about that and a host of other big thoughts up there in Canuckistan right now. If only we could all have such problems.

Becks & Garnett at House Party, Kid N' Play Suspiciously Absent

Goldenballs, Russell Simmons, DMC, Kevin Garnett, Missy Elliott, The Ting Tings, Estelle, Method Man & Redman, Mark Gonzales and more hot, Adidas-ladden flesh than I could ever handle is one hell of a house party. Anybody know the address?

New Blog on the Block: Seattle Times Sounders FC Blog

Now that the 2008 season is but lager-soaked memory, the Seattle Sounders of Major League Soccer seems so much more real now. No longer a "next year" thing it is a "now" thing, particularly in Jet City. Fashion shows,

The Seattle Times has jumped into the game too and launched Jose Romero's Sounders FC Blog. Yesterday he hit up the Seahawks practice where Freddie Lujungberg got to politicking with coach Mike Holmgren fellow follicley-challenged athlete quarterback Matt Hasselback. Good stuff and worth adding to your RSS feed.

Photo courtesy of Corky Trewin/Seattle Seahawks.

Seattle: Sounders Show Fashion, Sigi Shows Up

Watch it. It's worth it just to see Drew Carey's walk at the end. But where's Freddie Ljungberg? weird that the team's actual model didn't do the catwalk; perhaps he was prepping for a role on the Right Said Fred comeback tour?

Oh, and I wonder if a certain someone was in the audience? He is in town after all.

I'm Done With Today, I'm Going Out

Off to see Vampire Weekend and to pour some out for my departed comrades. Good. Night.

Today Sucks

I've got no funny for you today. The axe is falling at work today on a lot of people that I'm close to so jokes are off the table for me right now. I will suggest reading Justin Rodriguez's piece on what became of the likely lads of the inaugural U-17 residency class though. Some are high profile, some are no profile.

Celtic: Behind Closed Doors

24 minutes of Mo Johnston-era Celtic in all it's plumb-smuggling fantasticness.

Extra Time Episode 80

It's off-season for everyone but Shep & Greg.

Video: Barcelona Honcho Joan LaPorta Talks MLS

With Montreal out of the running, Vancouver reconsidering on the franchise fee and St. Louis waiting to see how the credit crunch plays out, don't you just get the feeling that Miami is going to end up backing into an expansion club? Personally I'm not too stoked on the notion since Miami is the worst sports town ever and the thought of another Chivas USA is oh so unappealing, but I have been wrong before.

Video: Nate Jaqua Wears His Feelings On His Sleeves

Check out this clip of Nate Jaqua following last Wednesday's CONCACAF Champions League match against Firpo. It was his last match for the Dynamo (again) so the Houston Chronicle's Bernardo Fallas wanted to get his thoughts on the whole end-of-an-era thing. Just as you would expect the dude says all the right things about how great the organization, players, and fans are in Houston.

But let me ask you this; what does his shirt --a Sounders-green flannel-- say? It says "I cannot wait to leave this oppressive heat behind. And I'm so stoked that the team is getting Eddie Vedder to pick me up from the airport."

Freddy Adu's True Tales from the Bench

The Biggest Midget in the Game™ talked to ESPN about life on Monaco's fringes.

Video: McHead Lights Up Chicago for Chrimbo

The son of Sweetness links up with Brian McBride to light up the Sears Tower Christmas tree for the children. If you're a Chi-City sports fan and the this doesn't warm your insides just a little bit you...have...no...soul.

Vancouver Hedging on Expansion Fee

Apparently Canadians are tightwads. Let the low-balling begin!

Video: The Galaxy Speak on NZ Trip

NSR: "Like Drinking Poison, Like Eating Glass"

An oldie but a goodie that I'm feeling right now.

FYI Seattle Kits Are Now Available

Home.



Away.

I prefer away.

Columbus Put the Rock on Schelotto, Make Him DP

Big ups to Columbus for keeping Guillermo Barros Schelotto on and making him the club's first designated player. They did the right thing by rewarding him for his ridiculous play and rewarding the fans by not letting him slip away over money. Nice to see Hunt Sports Group commit and marry their baby momma: Congrats Guille on becoming Mark McCullers' "diamond girl".

The Galaxy Bucks For Becks™ World Tour: The Return of Kiwi Beckham Mania

They may not be as ravenous as they were this time last year, but New Zealand is still hungry for Brand Beckham. MLS Jesus and the rest of the Galaxy touched down in hobbit country this a.m. and the now-customary throng of fans, reporters and requisite Maori's greeted them at the airport. If you've got nothing to do for the next 7 minutes you can watch this mind-numbing video of their arrival from News 3 New Zealand.

And if you are up late --really late if you are not on the left coast-- on Friday night you can tune into FSC at 10.30 PST to watch the Gals take on the Oceania All-Stars live. And for the sake of clarity it's Oceania, not Oceanic, so don't go holding your breath for a glimpse of Kate or Sun to come off the bench.

2009 MLS Season Already Coming Into View

First Kick 2009 has been announced, mark your calendars.

Thursday, March 19, 2009 (ALL TIMES CENTRAL)

New York Red Bulls at Seattle Sounders FC, 8 p.m. (ESPN2/Deportes)

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Columbus Crew at Houston Dynamo, 7 p.m. (Fox Soccer Channel/Fox Sports en Español)

Toronto FC at Kansas City Wizards, 7:30 p.m.

Chicago Fire at FC Dallas, 7:30 p.m.

Colorado Rapids at Chivas USA, 9:30 pm (Fox Soccer Channel/Fox Sports en Español)

New England Revolution at San Jose Earthquakes, 9:30 p.m.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

D.C. United at Los Angeles Galaxy, 2 p.m.

Dave van den Burgh Needs To Get Paid

Big Apple Soccer brings news that RBNY's out-of-contract Dutch Master Dave van den Bergh is less than happy with the reduced-salary offer that the club has put forth for 2009. There is sooooo much I could say about this but my dude Dan at Metrofanatic does it much better than I think I could so you should go read him.

Now if you're a fan of the Western Conference Champion Red Bull New York, this news may leave you feeling a little less than happy with the powers that be over in Seacaucus. It's understandable, and honestly, par for the course for the NY club no matter who owns it. But you know what I do when I get upset about something the club does? I look at this for 30 seconds and it feels like I'm laying on a bed of fluffy kittens while unicorns & Skittles rain down from a cloud shaped like Halle Berry and I just calm right down. Basically Red Bull Arena is like that mind-eraser thing in Men in Black; it's really great at making you forget whatever they did that 10 minutes ago.

Video: Claudio Reyna Talks WCQ's on ESPN

Knives out haters, Claudio Reyna is on Press Pass this week.

So Danny Dichio Has a Website

Do you love Danny Dichio? Do you need round the clock Dichio? Perhaps you may not yet be comfortable admitting your love for Dichio but would like to be able to share your interest with other Dichio enthusiasts? If this describes you, may I recommend checking out Dichio24.com for a face full of Dichio.

Lil Wayne Wants More Americans to Watch Soccer

To continue today's inexplicable/despicable stream of soccer-related Lil Wayne news, my man PH just pointed out to me that Weezy has been giving the ESPN nation some non-coke-dealing, gun-toting, fishbowling, womanizing and stuntin' like my daddy advice. For once I find myself agreeing with the guy and I feel so conflicted; one one hand I agree with what he's saying, but on the other hand he's an idiot.

I guess this explains though how Cisse and Diouf got inveited to his Christmas party.

Drogba, Cisse, Diouf & Anelka Barred from Miami

Lil Wayne and Akon are throwing an off the meter Christmas party in Miami this year and you & I aren't invited. Chelsea's Didier Drogba & Nicolas Anelka and Sunderland's El-Hadji Diouf & Djibril Cisse have been invited though because they are much more rich, famous and street. Too bad they won't be able to get it in because their respective gaffers have put the kibosh on any of them ballin' outta control over the Christmas break.

Boooo. I know they have games and training over the break but when someone gets a chance to attend a party so outlandish that it has snow imported from Greenland, you have to let them go and pop all the bottles they want. Felipe Scolari & Roy Keane, you are officially Killjoys of the Week™.

Photo of the Day: Becks Kids Actin' Out at the Laker's Game

Did you see the Lakers game last night? Cruz Beckham decided he'd put on his own half-time show and got on some Turbo & O-Zone sh*t to the delight of the crowd/embarrassment of his father. I'm not shocked that one of his kids is wildin' out; I would just suspect the one called Brooklyn would be the first one to start with the poppin' & lockin'.

Video: Red Bull Street Style Finale

Who knew you could be so agile with so many layers of clothing on?