Galaxian Gurus: When Band Dorks Discover MLS

Ray Hudson better watch his ass. There’s a pair of 15 year-olds in LA who’re spent there MLS First Kick at home (like they have much choice since this isn’t Tijuana & they aren’t of drinking age) making videos of themselves and their own awkward/confusing/unintentionally funny commentary. And is it just me or does the one on the left look like the product of a taboo love affair between Linkin Park's Chester Bennington and Drew Carey?

Their Christian names are Mat and Ryan but together they are known as the “Galaxian Gurus”. Yes, they're fake accents are beyond grating but hey, I’d rather see the next generation geeking out like this than doing the stuff I did when my balls finally dropped. In a bid to make these young pups into our own Chris Crocker’s, I’m posting a link to their Youtube page with their videos from this past weekend.

If you’d rather cherry-pick –and really it might be for the best because you can only take so much 15 yr-old boy humor—I’ve pulled some of the choice quotes below.

On Bouna Coundoul:

“The Colorado Rapids keeper is coming up big, very big. Amazing. Like if you took something that was big and then multiplied it times 10 for example. That’s how big.”

On the LA scoring woes at the half:

“LA are knocking on the door like little kids treat or treating, but they just can’t get any candy. We need the candy Carlos Ruiz! El Pescadito!”

On Herculez Gomez:

“Apparently Herculez Gomez decided he’s French now. He has French mustache. And he’s obviously Hispanic so that’s something to laugh at.”

Oh, and they also found a nice visual for Herculez new facial hair via Cartoon Network.