Jozy Altidore Signed My Pumpkin
That is a gourd we found in the bar last night at the Red Bull party. Why there were gourds all over a place that serves alchohol I don’t know but it will possibly end with a very unhappy cleaning person. But without them the story of what will heretofore be known as "Jozy and The Drunkin Punkin" would never have been possible.
To mark my meeting with The Boy King of New York & Jersey™ last night I needed an autograph. As I had no photos or merch with me but had 4 drinks in me, I grabbed the first thing that wasn't nailed down. It turned out to be a pumpkin. The kid looked at me like I was mad as hatters, but being the consummate professional that he is he inked it anyway.
So now I have the ultimate in rare, bespoke soccer-themed Halloween accoutrement. But what to do with it? As we are a mere week away from an evening of shelling out candy to those damn neighbor kids and possibly finding out the hard way that the stranger you'll take home from the costume party looks better in disguise, we've got to be quick about it.
Should Jozy's mug be carved into the opposite side? Should there be a raffle for it at the Giants Stadium tailgate this Saturday? Should a 'playoff pumpkin pie' be made, and sent to Jozy to dine on after the game if New York wins? There are many options but time is ticking. Feel free to add something to the suggestion box ASAP.