Man U v. Chelsea: The Musicians Match

The whole of England has gone tits over tail for today's Champions League final between Manchester United and Chelsea. Every angle in being covered in every paper in the land. Even NME has gotten in the act by putting out a side for each club made up of it's celebrity fans. Thank God Man City didn't make it to the final or Damon Albarn out of Blur/Gorillaz (pictured above) might have to but up with Liam Gallagher all up in his grill again.

Video: TFC Fans Already Nostalgic for the Present

You may have heard the talk that BMO Field may become home to Toronto's CFL team. This has made some TFC supporters sad. Very sad. Like 'slow motion montage with maudlin Band of Brothers-style music' sad. And if this sadness is a prelude to such a happening I think I might shed a single, dramatic as well.

We Major: Abel Xavier on TMZ

Dear sweet 8lb 6oz baby Jesus! There is an MLS player not named David Beckham on TMZ. Mind you all they ask LA Galaxy defender Abel 'manbeast' Xavier about is David but still, it's kind of crazygonuts to see MLS get some play on both Perez Hilton and TMZ in the span on 24 hours (Goldenballs dust up with Adrian Serioux was prominently featured on PH yesterday).

Now if someone can hatch a plan to get Danleigh Borman and his number one fan on Best Week Ever the trifecta of superficiality will be complete.

Video: Timbers Army All Up in Seattle's House Like Termites

The video above is from the final Timbers Army trip down to Seattle for a USL game. Last week 3 bus loads of PDX punks rolled up to King County to scream, sing, shout, and chant their side on against their hated, MLS-bound rivals. I love it. It makes me get all teary-eyed.

I know that to the uninitiated watching USL 1 games can be a bit of a hard work, but I would encourage you to watch anytime that Portland (or Montreal) are the home team. They have atmosphere engaging enough to grab the neutral fan.

Flesh For Fantasy: The Top 50 WAG's

Show of hands if you could use a bit of supple, airbrushed lady-flesh this afternoon? Good. Glad to hear that we're on the same page. CO-ED Magazine --the deliciously deviant online home for all things collegiate-- has jumped on the WAG bus and is riding that f*cker all the way to the end on line.

They've counted down the top 50 WAG's in world football in all of it's scantily clad, semi-NSFW glory and it's a sight to behold. You'll find that all of the big names (and breasts) that you've come to know and love are featured and feted: Coleen McLoughlin, Caroline Celico, and Danielle Lloyd (umph, Danielle Lloyd y'all!) are all in it. More importantly they're all as hot as Miami in August so go and get a look and a crush at CO-ED Magazine.

Who's the TOR top bird? For my money it is Chelsea winger Joe Cole's alleged missus, Keeley "Spanish Islands sextape" Hazell. She is killing it with that hair, that top and that banging body.

Round Ball Players of the World Unite & Take Over

Today's New York Times has features a now-fashionable piece on the soccer-basketball mutual appreciation society. It's good stuff and more than anything highlights the growing international look of the NBA. There is one quote that warms my fatherly soul:

In all, six Lakers were reared overseas: Vladimir Radmanovic (Serbia), Sasha Vujacic (Slovenia), D. J. Mbenga (Congo), Ronny Turiaf (Martinique), Gasol and Bryant. Among them, they learned to speak more than a dozen languages and had one thing in common growing up.

“When they offer the first gift,” Mbenga said, “if you’re a boy, it’s a football.”

Beautiful isn't it? I just bought my son his 1st ball about 3 weeks ago (the Don Garber signature model) at Target and it was a moment that I would love to see turn into a movement. Perhaps there should be "Buy Your Son a Ball Day"? I don't care what day it is just as long as it isn't March 14th because that is Daddy's special day.

Jimmy Conrad on Officiating

With the likes of David Beckham supposedly facing fines, John Carver under investigation and Juan Carlos Osorio being ejected for the way he (allegedly) spoke to a linesman, this may not exactly be the best climate to go composing 1,300 word open letters to the MLS referee contingent. But when the author is Jimmy Conrad, it may actually be the best time because you know that he'll do it in a way that is a) entertaining, b) intelligent and c) won't get him into enough trouble that it's messes with his money.

Anything the begins in the following manner...

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN, specifically CENTER REFEREES, specifically KEVIN STOTT,"

...is a must read for me. Historically speaking I have never been a fan of Stott so the opportunity to see his 'unique' brand of officiating aired-out in public forum by one of my favorite players is as good as gold. But, like all good reads this one has a surprise ending...which I am not about to spoil.

See You Too, Morrow: FC Dallas Coach Ousted

I hope to have more info out of Frisco soon, but my man on the ground there says that FC Dallas skipper has been shown the door following his side's 5-1 pasteing on Sunday by the Rudd Boyz. My man Jinxproofs has the following to say:

"I was sitting next to Dan Hunt (of FC Dallas' owners The Hunt Group) Sunday and he looked like someone shot his dog and his grandmother at the same time. He was not happy at all....."

When you own a pro sports team and it screws the pooch in such a spectacular fashion in front of a record crowd and a national audience it's probably worse than a dead dog and grandma. Next stop Walsall?

Video: Week 8 Coaches Quotes

Hey y'all. It's a slow day so far so perhaps it's a good time to check out the coach's quotes from week 8. John Carver is 'disappointed' in Columbus, Osorio is 'disappointed' in NY's set pieces, Frank Yallop is still Mr. Personality and Tom Soehn is still employed...for now.

Inside Red Bull's Los Angeles Pre-Game Throwdown

The staffers from Red Bulls corporate offices in Santa Monica know how to throw a party. DJ, band, 5-a-side games, women, enough energy drinks to kill an elephant. But one thing was missing. It ain't an RBNY party until the impossibly over-sized glass of communal beer makes and appearance. They did have some fresh to death one-off T-shirts from Bumpy Pitch though, so they at least looked good drinking from regular sized beverage containers.

Zoot Alors! Montreal's Stade Saputo Debuts Today

They're lining up, tickets in hand and ready to rock. In about 45 minutes USL 1's Montreal Impact will christen Stade Saputo --their new 13,500 seat SSS-- with a rare matinée game against Vancouver Whitecaps. Call it the battle of the MLS-fixated if you will, as both teams have "promotion" aspirations and a shot at joining the bigs of North America.

If you have no job or you hate your boss you can watch the game live on USLlive.com for $9.99 (which includes the rest of the months USL matches). As my boy Flip would say "It's Primetown m*th*r f*ck*rs!"

On Villains and Awesomeness

Villains are great for any league and this week offered a buffet of folks to hate. All of those people above were villains to somebody this week. And it was awesome. Except for referee Jair Maruffo, who was certainly not awesome since he ejected my team's best player on the field Saturday night (Dave van den Bergh) and coach (Juan Carlos Osorio) during his remarkably poor performance. For this he's officially villainous in my eyes.

While Adrian Serioux's dangerous tackle on Davis Beckham was in no way awesome, his uncalled for comment of "Welcome, baby, welcome" was just as much of an asshole thing to do as the tackle that proceeded it. Which if you are a villain-for-a-day is awesome. But not to be outdone, Becks had to get in his face in an equally dramatic way --so dramatic in fact that video of it is posted on the front page of Perez Hilton today (which is the kind of press you can't buy)-- and give the Texas crowd a big old "shhhh" following his assist on on LA's 5th goal. As the "boos" rained down on him, I wonder if he was aware that he and Serioux had just pulled off the rare "villain reach-around"?

And then of course there was Schellotto's, um performance, up in Toronto. I was of the mindset that the whole Trillium Cup thing was just a pointless attempt to manufacture a rivalry, but with Guille's Carlos Ruiz-like escapades I think that real groundwork has been laid for a beef-filled border war between the two sides; the villain as fire starter.

Did I miss anyone? Was there anyone else that should be damned/praised this week? Drop it in the comment below.

Schelotto's Tony Award Winning Toronto Performance

I work at 1515 Broadway in New York. I walk past the the Phantom of the Opera, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, and The Producers twice a day and even I haven't seen a performance this dramatic since Madonna was in Evita. This was truly a tour de force...I can't wait until Blanco & he go head-to-head for on-pitch theatrics supremacy.

Wanted: Problem Solver

If you can figure out this puzzle, please phone Kevin Payne about an exciting employment oppurtunity that may be available to you.

Lightning Has Struck Twice For Edson Buddle

Ho. Lee. Sheet. Edson "tradebait" Buddle put three past FC Dallas in LA's 5-1 drubbing of The Club Formerly Known As The Burn. It's been 21 months since the former Crew striker hit 3 in a single game --which was against RSL during his NY stint-- so mark your calendars as it will most likely be another 21 before he does it again. Anyone's guess is as good as mine as to where his well-traveled ass will be by then.

Blanco Pitches to Both Sides of the Chicago Baseball Divide

Baseball fans of Chicago...forgive him for he knows not what he is doing and his innocence is almost child-like.

The Don Issues a Statement on Vancouver

Let's play 'the uninformed speculation game' for a minute since it's Friday and you're probably doing as little as possible at your job today. So the British Columbian government announces that they are going to renovate Vancouver's BC Place Stadium and outfit it with a retractable roof. Then it's announced that the USL 1 Whitecaps will begin playing there in 2011. Now MLS commissioner Don Garber has issued a statement on said developments.

Are ducks being put in a row or am I just one of those conspiracy crazies who think that JFK was killed by the CIA if I think that something may be afoot in Weed City? Mind you similar statements were issued in the past about San Antonio (remember that episode?), the initial Philly bid in New Jersey, and the fantasy of a stadium for the Revs so maybe in the long run it will mean nothing.

Wilco: Secret Celtic Supporters?

Is it just me or are a lot of musicians secret soccer fans these days? Maybe they aren't but perhaps someone at their merchandise company is. It seems everyone's discovering their inner hooligan and have got a terrace-inspired scarf to prove it. Jersey punker Ted Leo does. Indie-preps Vampire Weekend have one too. And noisy French DJ's Institubes have a 'hooligan disco' one.

My man Bob from Murder By Baltimore informed me this morning that Chicago twang-rockers Wilco --my wife's favorite band-- have one available for sale as well. Some of the other bands may not actually know a thing about the game (Vampire Weekend), but with "You'll Never Rock Alone" written on it something tells me Jeff Tweedy has seen a Celtic or Liverpool match or two in between prescription drug addictions and giving band mates the boot.

And judging from this live clip of 'Handshake Drugs' a shockingly large portion of his audience spends a bit of time screaming at their TV on Saturadys as well. Maybe that 'Kicking Television' song of theirs has a meaning that I never really caught before.

Arsenal Reconsidering Kroenke's Overtures?

I'll bet you $5 of Stan "The 'Stache" Kroenke's money that you are quite possibly familiar with the following phrase: Money talks, bullsh*t walks.

I think this may apply to the aforementioned Colorado Rapids owner and his dealings with Arsenal Football Club. Back in 2007 when there was all manner of chatter about a possible Kroenke takeover bid at Arsenal, it's chairman Peter Hill-Wood said he "did not want his sort" at the club. But in the months since he's bought a 12% stake in the club, and formed some sort of partnership between Arsenal and the Rapids and there was even a scrimmage played in London earlier this year between the 2 sides.

And now Hill-Wood says "there is every reason to expect that we shall discuss further how his involvement can be extended" and that "he may well have a vital contribution to make to the future of this football club." If you ask me that's a pretty abrupt U-turn and it shows something of a lack of resolve on Hill-Wood's part...I bet Churchill would be really disappointed. But I guess it just goes to show you how far persistence, cash and power can get you.

ESPN's 5 Burning Questions: MLS Newcomers & More

No disrespect to Mansally and Davino, but when you talk about newcomers who have impressed so far in 2008 I think you have to mention Adam Moffat. His stats aren't off the meter, but that guy's just got something.

Having said that, what the hell do I really know about soccer compared to Johnny Harkes?