Should Dallas Sign Chris out of MUSE?

Should FC Dallas sign Chris Wolstenholme out of MUSE? He had a hat trick the other day when he and some members of the band's touring party played against the FC Dallas staff. Plus he's about the same size as Big Kenny so I'm sure he could fit into all those XL jerseys they are sure to have laying around from the FrankenCooper era.

In the end it's probably not a good idea because A) he's nowhere near matchfit and B) his $100K a week wage demands might be a bit much for the club to handle. Still though, if he can convince his other two bandmates to do this on the Pizza Hut Park stage after each match it might put a few extra asses in the seats.

Tim Howard Will Return to America, Possibly only for the Champagne of Beers

A few months ago CNN asked us, the American soccer fans, to submit questions for interviews with Timbo and Lando. Today the Timbo interview dropped. Now bear in mind that this is CNN and it's trying to be serious & newsy, but it's really hard to do that when the questions are coming from "Big Mike"and feature the term "smack talk". Kinda odd.

Still, it's not as weird as Howard's revelation that the thing he misses the most about America is light beer. Surely that's grounds for deportation from Merseyside. That's like going to the Playboy mansion and wondering aloud where all of the A cups are at.

I'm Calling It: Juan Pablo Angel Posts on Bigsoccer

In less than one minute's time, Juan Pablo Angel mentions promotion & relegation, expansion, single table, a second division and no playoffs. It's almost as if a list of topics from the "MLS: General" forum on Bigsoccer was on an off-camera cue card in front of him. Kind of surreal to know that players are just as geeky as I am and actually think about that stuff too.

So with that the bounty hunt for JPA's screenname is on. Maximum rep to the first person to positively ID and out him.

Pilooski Outshines Becks in New Adidas Advert

You've probably seen the latest advert for Adidas Originals that's been doing the rounds. A follow up to that house party commercial from last summer, it's got Becks, Noel G., Ian Brown aka King Monkey, Snoop Dogg, DJ Neil Armstrong and whole bunch of other fabulously wealthy people who ooze "originality". But even with all those celebs in tow the real star of this clip is Pilooski.

If you are thinking to yourself "Pilooski? Who dat?", I'll tell you. Pilooski is this French DJ/producer that's pretty much the go-to guy if you want a fresh new edit of an old song. His reworking of "Can't There Be Love" soundtracks the ad and is currently in the heaviest of rotations on Radio TOR. He also did the remix of Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons' "Beggin'" that was in the aforementioned house party commercial. Dude even manages to make Del Shannon, Can and Elvis kinda funky.

If you have a bit of time for a few rockin' rehashes of old-school obscurities, seek his stuff out on Hype Machine. And just for the hell of it and because it's Friday, here's that Frankie Valli re-rub one more time. Let's gooooooo!

Today in Stadium Porn: Now With Testimonies!

Woly, Big Mac, JPA and the Long Island Avenger testify to the greatness of Red Bull Arena for Stevie Cangiolosi and an MSG camera. It really is sad though to hear a long-time player like Woly be so psyched about getting something so simple as their own locker room. Really puts into perspective just how much of a 4th fiddle the team was at Giants Stadium.

IMG Academy: Not at All Like Fat Camp

12 years, 41 professional players produced. Not a bad track record for the IMG Academy, Florida's futbol factory. Famous alums include a list of names that is as impressive as it is long. They also offer random matches against MLS opposition, stage parent-esque screaming from the sidelines and lots and lots of sweating in the gym. THIS is how you want to spend your teen years (or this is how you want to spend your teen years?!).

Clint Dempsey Post-Golazo Interview

He meant to strike it! I knew it, knew it, knew it. The boy is just cold like that.

Video: That Clint Dempsey Goal

Clint Dempsey y'all. I can't describe the pride I feel right now as an American, a Texan and a Fulham supporter. Thank God I didn't watch this match in a bar; I would be absolutely paralytic.

Can't We Just All Get Along?

This is unnecessary and the last thing American soccer needs.We all know it's an isolated incident but that doesn't make it any less repugnant. It's just a game people, it's just a game.

Red Bull Arena "Training" Video

I straight jacked this from my guy at The Viper's Nest. Great looking advert for the soon-to-be open Red Bull Arena. Jeremy Hall is doing work right? Kid is working out like he about to fight that Russian from Rocky or something.

The thing that sticks out to me about the clip is that it seems pretty squarely aimed at the urban crowd (read: NYers and people who prefer mass transit), and it's another example of a shift in audience for American soccer. The Dodge Caravan crowd is out, while the "the only car I get in is a cab" crowd is in.